Pearls of Maldives

Real Freedom: I Couldn't Have Said It Better!

2011-12-22T03:14:00.000-08:00

By: Bro. Abu Khattab

You call me weird but I say that I’m different,
You call me barbaric but I say I’m risk free.
You call me a loser but I’m thankful for my possessions,
You call me fanatical but I only obey.

You call me ugly but to my Lord I’m beautiful,
You call me backwards but I’m always looking forward.
You call me a loner but I have my Lord,
You call me trouble but I’m not breaking His Laws.
You call me unsocial but would I mix with corruption?
You call me a terrorist but I fight for my freedom.
A freedom of justice and peace in the lands,
Ruled under the laws of our Creator and Sustainer.

Do you not call your wars the same?
That you fight for freedom of the people around.
We do the same except ours is the truth,
For you aim to reap riches and expand your command.

Freedom isn’t the ability to collect your wealth,
And storing it then dying without spending a cent.
Freedom is the ability of collecting your wealth,
Then spreading it to the poor across the lands.

Freedom isn’t the ability to fornicate with others,
Then being bed ridden from disease for the rest of your life.
Freedom is marriage where you are able to choose,
And if a reason is presented, then separate happily.

Freedom isn’t taking out a loan full of usury,
Then being unable to pay it because you cannot afford it.
Freedom is asking your Lord for help,
Then if it is good for you it will come your way.

Freedom isn’t being able to undress in the streets,
And be paraded around and stared at like an animal.
Freedom is modesty where you have control,
Of who gets to see you and what they’re able to do.

Freedom isn’t what you deem as freedom,
For freedom benefits and doesn’t destroy.
Freedom lasts and would never fall,
Our freedom has lasted since the dawn of man.

But you fail to accept the destruction you’ve caused,
And you continue to fight the light that shines.
Your days are numbered and I’m counting down,
Where truth will prevail over the falseness of man.

So you call me extreme for what I have to say,
But as I said I am only one who obeys.
The debt collector comes when your time is up,
So what will you say O one who disobeys?

You call me dark but I follow the light,
You call me stupid but I’m the one who believes.
You call me different but this when I pause,
I am not different but you should call me strange…

Polygyny, or Multiple Girlfriends?

2011-11-14T19:20:00.000-08:00

This article attempts to deal with a marital problem which is connected with conduct, namely, the deviation of the husband, or infidelity. We believe that, many a time, if a man asks to marry another woman or looks at other than his wife, he is actually in real need of a second marriage. What, then, is more honorable: marrying another woman or committing an immoral act? Which is better for the man's religion: a second marriage or taking a girlfriend?

The woman may think that polygyny is unfair to her, undermines her personality, nullifies her independence, and denies her of respect and ownership. This perception is only partly true from the perspective of the individual woman, but at the same time, this view exposes its blatant aggression against the gender of women in general when some women, who are deprived of or have lost a husband, look for another one and cannot find any. When Islam legislates or legalizes a matter, it considers the public interest and gives it precedence over the interest of the individual in order to bring about public benefits and ward off destructive evils. By doing so, Islam is consistent with common sense and wise reasoning.

Evidence on its permissibility:

Islam permitted polygyny in text of the Quran in Surah An-Nisaa’. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice].} [Quran 4:3]

This is the maximum number permitted, and it is not permissible to marry more than four. This is the statement of scholars of Tafseer (Quranic exegesis) and Muslim jurists, and the whole Ummah (Muslim nation) is in unanimous agreement upon this. If anyone entered Islam while having more than four wives at the time of the Prophet, , he would order him to keep four and divorce the remaining ones.

It goes without saying that there are seven cases which inevitably require polygyny:

1. The divorced woman

2. The widow

3. The spinster

4. The infertile woman

5. The nature of man and his sexual ability

6. The conditions of war and the resulting shortage of men

7. Reports that indicate that the number of women in the coming years will be twice the number of men

What is the problem, then?

Allaah The Almighty has incomparable wisdom in all his sayings and actions, and so His legislating polygyny is by no means belittling the woman or underestimating her position and status. Polygyny was made lawful for the interest of the woman, the man, and the society as a whole.The problem here therefore is not in the Sharee‘ah of Allaah; the problem is in the individual mistakes made by some people. Therefore, we should not attribute the mistake and injustice to the Sharee‘ah of Allaah. The tragedies and problems that occur due to polygyny are a result of the husband's failure to create a balance between the two parties. Islam is not affected by some Muslims' abuse of the concession of polygyny without justice. Indeed, Islam reigns supreme and nothing is superior to it and it is the criterion and standard. Whoever agrees with it is right, and whoever disagrees with it is wrong and has to reconsider his actions. Curing the injustice that occurs from some husbands cannot take place by banning what Allaah The Almighty has made lawful. The cure should be through teaching, educating and understanding the rulings of Islam.

We have heard many bizarre stories and tragedies that represent polygyny in a repugnant form. Some men have behaved improperly, exceeded the limits, and showed injustice. At a time in which the man wants to carry out the Sunnah of polygyny, some have neglected their duties, themselves, and their dependants. Some men are unfair to their first wives, neglect their children, and deprive them of inheritance. Some fail to support them financially, raise them, or take care of their affairs. A man may unhesitatingly divorce one of his wives to get rid of the problems and thus bring about harm on her. Sometimes a husband enrages and distresses one of his wives or compares her to the other, or does similar harmful acts.

Permissible with conditions:

Polygyny, though permissible, has certain conditions:

1. Justice

2. Financial maintenance

The first condition:

Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice].} [Quran 4:3] This verse states that justice is a condition for the permissibility of polygyny. So, if the man fears himself being unjust between his wives, it would be prohibited for him to marry more than one, and he is obliged to marry one woman only. This addresses the obligatory justice that man affords in terms of financial maintenance, accommodation and overnight stays. What man does not have control over, like the inclination of his heart towards one of his wives, however, is not included. This is what Allaah The Almighty means by His Saying (what means): {And you will never be able to be equal [in feeling] between wives, even if you should strive [to do so].}[Quran 4:129]

The second condition:

Financial maintenance: Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice].} [Quran 4:3] In his book ‘Uddatus-Saabireen, Imaam Ibn Al-Qayyim said, "This means do not be unfair or unjust." Ash-Shaafi‘i interpreted it to mean "(in order to) to increase your children." But the first opinion is the preponderant one. The Prophet, , said: "O young men, whoever can afford marriage, let him marry. Marriage helps man lower his gaze and maintain chastity. Whoever cannot afford it, let him fast. Fasting is a shield for him."

If the man cannot afford marriage financially, he is not allowed to marry. This ruling applies to his first marriage, and thus he is not, with even greater reason, allowed to marry a second woman when he is already married to one. Marrying another woman while he knows that he is unable to financially support her with the first wife is an act that shows man's indifference in fulfilling others' rights. It is a form of injustice, and injustice is not permissible.

In short, Islam has permitted polygyny for the benefit of the woman and the man and the society in a general and comprehensively realistic way. Polygyny saves the woman from the clutches of corruption and immorality, and from the traps of depression, frustration and deprivation. This occurs in conditions that only polygyny can help and be the effective solution and way out. Moreover, the man must abide by the conditions of justice, equity, and the capability of financial support that Islam obligated on the man in this case. If these conditions are not present, there can be no polygyny. The woman who suffers harm because of the second marriage has the right to demand separation and divorce. Let there be no harm or reciprocating harm.

Polygyny is like a medicine or treatment for many diseases. It is permissible and becomes an act of the Sunnah if there are good intentions and Sharee‘ah limits are observed. It may become prohibited if the man fears injustice, or if a verbal or customary condition preventing polygyny is set when the marriage contract is concluded. Polygyny may be a successful solution to the problem of infidelity in question.

May Allaah guide us all to do what is best for us and the Muslim family – Allaah willing.

http://www.rasoulallah.net/v2/document.aspx?lang=en&doc=13752

Precious things are hidden

2011-05-31T08:43:00.000-07:00

Pearls beautiful manifestations of Allah’s design and creation are born and found in the depths of the ocean within the protection of an oyster shell. Many divers risk their lives to attain these jewels, their shine unmarred, hidden away from human touch & sight. They are lessons in nature for heedful eyes.
Have we ever wondered why pearls, the purest and whitest of natural jewels are not found floating on the surface of the ocean for all to see? Have we pondered why all beautiful things are hidden, the pomegranate seeds in their peel white coconut in a coarse shell, diamonds in a mine? And the most beautiful Being beyond our imaginations Allah Ta’ala . Among his best creation, the human being, Allah chose this honour for a woman in order to preserve, protect and purify her beauty and to make it eternal in paradise.

Sister you are beautiful

2011-05-25T00:37:00.000-07:00

Sisters in Islam, you are beautiful. Stay true to yourself and to Allah, and Allah shall bestow on you Mercy and Forgiveness. Never lose hope in the future, Allah is with you.

The month of Rajab

2011-04-20T07:33:00.000-07:00

The month of Rajab

Praise be to Allaah, the One, the Subduer, and blessings and peace be upon the Chosen Prophet and upon his good and pure family and companions.

Praise be to Allaah Who says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And your Lord creates whatsoever He wills and chooses” [al-Qasas 28:68]. The attribute of choosing or selecting is indicative of His Lordship and Oneness, and of the perfection of His Wisdom, Knowledge and Power.

One aspect of His choosing and preferring is the fact that He has chosen some days and months and given them preference over others. Among the months, Allaah has chosen four which He has made sacred, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Verily, the number of months with Allaah is twelve months (in a year), so it was ordained by Allaah on the Day when He created the heavens and the earth; of them four are Sacred. That is the right religion, so wrong not yourselves therein…” [al-Tawbah 9:36]

These months are calculated according to the movements of the moon, not the movements of the sun, as the kuffaar do.

The Sacred Months are mentioned by implication in the Qur’aan, but their names are not given. Their names are mentioned in the Sunnah:

It was reported from Abu Bakrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) gave his Farewell Sermon and said: “Time has completed its cycle and is as it was on the Day when Allaah created the heavens and the earth. The year is twelve months, of which four are sacred, three consecutive months – Dhoo’l-Qa’dah, Dhoo’l-Hijjah and Muharram – and the Rajab of Mudar which comes between Jumaada and Sha’baan.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, no. 1741, in [Kitaab] al-Hajj, al-Khutbah Ayaam Mina; and by Muslim, no. 1679, in [Kitaab] al-Qisaamah, Baab Tahreem al-Dimaa’).

It was called Rajab of Mudar because [the tribe of] Mudar did not tamper with its timing, unlike the rest of the Arabs, who used to tamper with the months and change their order depending on whether they were in a state of war or not. This was the postponing referred to in the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):

“The postponing (of a Sacred Month) is indeed an addition to disbelief: thereby the disbelievers are led astray, for they make it lawful one year and forbid it another year in order to adjust the number of months forbidden by Allaah, and make such forbidden ones lawful.” [al-Tawbah 9:37]

It was also said that the reason why it was attributed to Mudar was because they venerated it and respected it so much, so it was attributed to them.

The reason why it is so called.

Ibn Faaris said in Mu’jam Maqaayees al-Lughah (p. 445):

The letters Ra’, jeem and ba’ form a root which indicates supporting and strengthening something with another thing. … Hence the phrase “Rajabtu’l-shay’” means I venerated it… It was called Rajab because they used to venerate it, and it is also venerated in Sharee’ah.

The people of the Jaahiliyyah used to call Rajab Munassil al-Asinnah[the one that causes the sharp heads of weapons to be taken off], as it was reported that Abu Rajaa’ al-‘Ataaridi said:

We would a rock, then if we found a better rock we would throw the first one aside and adopt the other. If we could not find a rock, we would make a pile of dirt, then we would bring a ewe and milk it over the pile of dirt, then we would do tawaaf around it. When the month of Rajab came, we would say Munassil al-Asinnah [the one that causes the sharp heads of weapons to be taken off], and we would not leave any spear or arrow that had an iron piece in it but we would take the metal head off and put it aside during the month of Rajab. (Narrated by al-Bukhaari).

Al-Bayhaqi said: the people of the jaahiliyyah used to venerate these sacred months, especially the month of Rajab, and they would not fight during this month.

Rajab is a sacred month

The Sacred months have a special status, which applies also to Rajab because it is one of these sacred months. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“O you who believe! Violate not the sanctity of the Symbols of Allaah, nor of the Sacred Month…” [al-Maa’idah 5:2]

This means: do not violate their sanctity which Allaah has commanded you to respect and forbidden you to violate, for this prohibition includes both vile deeds and vile beliefs.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“so wrong not yourselves therein…” [al-Tawbah 9:36] meaning, in the Sacred Months. The pronoun here [translated here as “therein”] refers to these four sacred months, as stated by the Imaam of the Mufassireen, Ibn Jareer al-Tabari (may Allaah have mercy on him).

So we should pay attention to the sanctity of these four months, because Allaah has singled them out for a special status and has forbidden us to commit sins out of respect for their sanctity, for sins committed at this time are even worse, because of the sanctity of the time which Allaah has made sacred. Hence in the aayah quoted above, Allaah has forbidden us to wrong ourselves even though this – i.e., wronging ourselves, which includes committing sins – is forbidden during all the months of the year.

Fighting during the sacred months

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“They ask you concerning fighting in the sacred months. Say: fighting therein is a great (transgression)…” [al-Baqarah 2:217]

The majority of scholars state that (the prohibition of) fighting in the sacred months is abrogated by the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):

“Then when the sacred months have passed, then kill the Mushrikeen wherever you find them…” [al-Tawbah 9:5], and other aayat and reports which are general in application and which include commands to fight them.

Others say: it is not permissible to initiate fighting during the sacred months, but it is permissible to continue and conclude fighting, if it started at a different time. The fighting of the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) against the people of al-Taa’if is interpreted in this way, because the fighting had begun at Hunayn in Shawwaal.

The above does not apply to fighting in self-defence. If the enemy attacks the Muslim lands, it is obligatory for the inhabitants to defend themselves, whether that happens during a sacred month or not.

Al-‘Ateerah (a kind of sacrifice)

During the Jaahiliyyah, the Arabs used to slaughter a sacrifice during Rajab as an act of worship towards their idols.

When Islam came, teaching that sacrifices were to be offered only to Allaah, this deed of the Jaahiliyyah was abolished. The fuqaha’ differed as to the rulings on offering sacrifices during Rajab. The majority of Hanafis, Maalikis and Hanbalis stated that the sacrifice of al-‘Ateerah was abrogated. Their evidence was the hadeeth, “There is no Fir’ and no‘Ateerah”, narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim from Abu Hurayrah.

The Shaafa’is said that al-‘Ateerah had not been abrogated, and they regarded it as mustahabb (recommended). This was also the view of Ibn Seereen.

Ibn Hajar said: this is supported by the hadeeth narrated by Abu Dawood, al-Nisaa’i, and Ibn Maajah, and classed as saheeh by al-Haakim and Ibn al-Mundhir, from Nubayshah, who said:

A man called out to the Messenger of Allaah SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): We used to offer the sacrifice of al-‘Ateerah during the Jaahiliyyah in the month of Rajab. What do you command us to do? He said, Offer sacrifices, no matter which month is it…

Ibn Hajar said: the Messenger of Allaah SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not abolish it in principle, but he abolished the idea of making this sacrifice especially in Rajab.

Fasting in Rajab

There is no saheeh report from the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) or from the Sahaabah to indicate that there is any particular virtue in fasting during Rajab.

The fasting that is prescribed in Rajab is the same as that prescribed in other months, namely fasting on Mondays and Thursdays, and the three days of al-Beed, fasting alternate days, and fasting Sirar al-Shahr. Some of the scholars said that Sirar al-Shahr refers to the beginning of the month; others said that it refers to the middle or end of the month. ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) used to forbid fasting in Rajab because it involved resemblance to the Jaahiliyyah. It was reported that Kharashah ibn al-Harr said: I saw ‘Umar smacking the hands of those who fasted in Rajab until they reached out for food, and he was saying, This is a month which was venerated in the Jaahiliyyah. (al-Irwaa’, 957; al-Albaani said: it is saheeh).

Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim said: the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not fast for three consecutive months (i.e., Rajab, Sha’baan and Ramadaan) as some people do, and he never fasted Rajab at all, nor did he encourage people to fast this month.

Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar said in Tabayyun al-‘Ajab bimaa wurida fi Fadl Rajab:

No saheeh hadeeth that may be used as evidence has been narrated concerning the virtues of the month of Rajab or fasting this month or fasting in any specific part of it, or observing Qiyaam al-Layl specifically during this month. Imaam Abu Ismaa’eel al-Harawi al-Haafiz has already stated this before me, and we have narrated this from others also.

In Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah it states: with regard to fasting specifically in Rajab, we do not know of any basis in Sharee’ah for doing that.

‘Umrah in Rajab

The ahaadeeth indicate that the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not do ‘Umrah during Rajab, as it was narrated that Mujaahid said: ‘Urwah ibn al-Zubayr and I entered the mosque, and there was ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar sitting near the room of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her). He was asked, “How many times did the Messenger of Allaah SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) do ‘Umrah?” He said, “Four times, and one of them was in Rajab.” We did not want to argue with him. We could hear ‘Aa’ishah Umm al-Mu’mineen brushing her teeth (i.e., the sound of the miswaak) in her room. ‘Urwah said, “O Mother of the Believers, did you not hear what Abu ‘Abd al-Rahmaan is saying?” She said, “What is he saying?” He said, “He is saying that the Messenger of Allaah SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did ‘Umrah four times, one of them in Rajab.” She said, “May Allaah have mercy on Abu ‘Abd al-Rahmaan, [the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)] never did ‘Umrah but he witnesses it (i.e., he was present with him), and he never did ‘Umrah during Rajab.” (Agreed upon).

It was reported by Muslim that Ibn ‘Umar heard this and did not say yes or no. Al-Nawawi said: the fact that Ibn ‘Umar remained silent when ‘Aa’ishah denied what he said indicates that he was confused, or had forgotten, or was uncertain. Hence it is an innovated bid’ah to single out Rajab for making ‘Umrah and to believe that doing ‘Umrah in Rajab has a specific virtue. Nothing to that effect has been narrated, besides the fact that the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) is not reported to have made ‘Umrah during Rajab at all.

Shaykh ‘Ali ibn Ibraaheem al-‘Attaar (d. 724 AH) said:

One of the things that I have heard about the people of Makkah – may Allaah increase it in honour – is that they do ‘Umrah frequently during Rajab. This is something for which I know of no basis, all I know is that it was reported in the hadeeth that the Messenger of Allaah SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “ ‘Umrah in Ramadaan is equivalent to Hajj.”

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his Fataawaa:

As for singling out some of the days of Rajab for any kind of good deed, ziyaarah (visiting the House of Allaah, the Ka’bah) or anything else, there is no basis for this, because Imaam Abu Shaamah stated in his book al-Bida’ wa’l-Hawaadith: specifying acts of worship at times that were not specified by sharee’ah is wrong; no time is to be regarded as better than any other except in cases where the sharee’ah gave preference to a certain act of worship at a certain time, or stated that any good deed done at this time is better than good deeds done at other times. Hence the scholars denounced the practice of singling out the month of Rajab for doing ‘Umrah frequently.

But if a person goes for ‘Umrah during Rajab without believing that this has any particular virtue and because it is just a coincidence that it is easier for him to go at this time, then there is nothing wrong with that.

Bid’ah and innovations in the month of Rajab

Innovation in religion is one of the serious matters which go against the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah. The Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not die until after the religion had been perfected. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“… This day, I have perfected your religion for you, completed My favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion…” [al-Maa’idah 5:3]

It was reported that ‘Aa’isha (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: the Messenger of Allaah SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever innovates something in this matter of ours which is not a part of it, will have it rejected.” (Agreed upon).

According to a report narrated by Muslim: “Whoever does an action which is not a part of this matter of ours will have it rejected.”

Some people have innovated a number of practices in Rajab, including the following:

- Salaat al-Raghaa’ib. This prayer became widespread after the first and best centuries, especially in the fourth century AH. Some liars fabricated this prayer, which is done on the first night of Rajab. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

Salaat al-Raghaa’ib is bid’ah according to the consensus of the scholars of religion, such as Maalik, al-Shaafa’i, Abu Haneefah, al-Thawri, al-‘Oozaa’i, al-Layth and others . The hadeeth that is narrated concerning it is a lie according to the consensus of the scholars who have knowledge of hadeeth.

- It was reported that major events happened in the month of Rajab, but none of these reports are true. It was reported that the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was born on the first night of Rajab, and that he received his Mission on the twenty-seventh, or twenty-fifth of this month. None of this is correct. It was reported with an isnaad that is not saheeh from al-Qaasim ibn Muhammad that the Prophet’s Night Journey (al-Israa’) took place on the twenty-seventh of Rajab. This was denied by Ibraaheem al-Harbi and others. One of the innovations that take place during this month is the recitation of the story of the Mi’raaj, and celebrations to commemorate it on the twenty-seventh of Rajab, or singling out this night to perform extra acts of worship such as Qiyaam al-Layl or fasting during the day, or rejoicing and celebrating. Some celebrations are accompanied by haraam things such as mixing of men and women, singing and music, all of which are not permitted on the two Eids which are prescribed in Islam, let alone innovated celebrations. Add to that the fact that there is no proof that the Israa’ and Mi’raaj happened on this date. Even if it were proven, that is no excuse for holding celebrations on this date, because nothing of the kind has been reported from the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) or from his companions, may Allaah be pleased with them, or from any of the Salaf (early generations) of this Ummah. If it were a good thing, they would surely have done it before us. May Allaah help us.

- Salaat Umm Dawood halfway through Rajab.

- The du’aa’s which are recited specifically during Rajab are all fabrications and innovations.

- Visiting graves specifically in Rajab is bid’ah, because graves are to be visited at any time of the year.

We ask Allaah to make us of those who venerate the things that He has made sacred and adhere to the Sunnah of the Prophet SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) outwardly and inwardly, for He is the One Whom we should ask and He is Able to do that. And the close of our request is: praise be to Allaah, the Lord of ‘Aalameen (mankind, jinns and all that exists).

2839 .islam Q& A

Your eyes…. And Lowering The Gaze

2011-04-20T01:28:00.000-07:00

Written by: Dr. Muhammad El Saqqa Eid

Allah says in the Quran {Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do. And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty} (Surat Al Noor <24:30-31>)

And He also says:{Have We not given him two eyes, And a tongue and two lips, And pointed out to him the two conspicuous ways?} (Surat Al Balad <90:8-10>)

Eyes are the precious pearls that no price can afford. Allah has called them "The beloved things", or "the dear things", as came in the Hadith narrated by Al Bukhari, Al Tarmizi, and Ibn Habaan, that the prophet sala Allah alyh w salam said:"Allah said, 'If I deprive my servant of his two beloved things (i.e., his eyes) and he remains patient, I will vouchsafe him the Paradise in compensation for them.'''

The creation of the eye is one of the greatest secrets of God's powers, and an evidence thereto. Despite their small size in comparison with the whole organs around them, their scope of vision encompasses the whole wide universe including the sky, the earth, the sea, and all creatures.

The sense of sight comes in second in importance after the sense of hearing, as God says in the Quran in this concern what means :{Verily We created Man from a drop of mingled sperm, in order to try him: So We gave him (the gifts), of Hearing and Sight} (Surat Al Insan <076.002 >).

The sight is the mirror or a reflection of the body and its tool of distinction. It is the window though which we have see the surrounding world, and by which we can probe shapes, sizes and colors. The sight is man's means of identifying God's creatures and contemplating them. Allah says <> (Surat Al Ankabout <29:20>>).

And, as we have already said, because the eyes are the most precious things that we have, we should take good care of them and protect them against any potential and possible harm.

And among the many things that should help us protect our eyes and preserve their health and strength, is refraining from using them in what Allah forbids, because they are one of Allah's several bounties upon us. One of the acts that tire the eyes is watching pornographic films. Allah says in His Holy Book in this concern what means {surely the hearing and the sight and the heart, all of these, shall be questioned about that} (Surat Al Israa < 17:36>). Therefore, a Muslim should divert his/her senses from what displeases Allah, and should not consume them in what is not useful. Letting the gaze roam freely at what arouses the desire and causes fitah (temptation) contradicts completely with the healthy fitrah (innate nature of human) that Allah has given us.

Al Tabarany and Hakim reported from Abdu Allah Ibn Masoad, May Allah be pleased with him that he said: The prophet of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) reported from Allah Almighty that He said: "The glance is a poisoned arrow of shaytaan (Satan). Whoever lowers his gaze for Allah, He will bestow upon him a refreshing sweetness, which he will find in his heart on the day he meets Him."

Lowering the gaze and its health benefits

The question is: Does lowering the gaze have any benefits to the human health?

Scientific research and studies proved that repeated desirous looking at the opposite sex, and the ensuing need to fulfill the suppressed and unfulfilled desires, lead to many problems as serious as productive system diseases, such as the cognition of prostate, the sexual inability, or total infertility.

Some social studies have also proved that, in western societies, not lowering the gaze leads to depression and other psychological disorders. Such studies also indicate that moral disintegration and sexual promiscuity in those societies are some of the results of the inexistence of a religious doctrine or ethical and moral restrictions that regulate such a noble sense and channel it into what conforms to the human physical and psychological health.

The sense of sight is absolutely the strongest of the senses as far as responding to sexual excitement is concerned. Using this sense unconsciously and indiscriminately in looking at what arouses the desires simply means that its owner is wasting it unknowingly, and consequently is wasting his/her own psychological balance in vain and in no return except for an illusion of enjoyment and pleasure. The best remedy for the desirous looking at the opposite sex is to remember that Allah is always there seeing us all the time, and is watching over our deeds.Remind yourself that Allah sees you but you can't see Him, so where on earth could you be able to commit a sin without being caught? Where would such a place be?. Also remind yourself of Allah's (thawab) forgiveness and reward for those who lower their gaze in fear and obedience of Him, as the prophet (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) said, as narrated by Ahmad and Al Tabarany, <<Whoever( Muslim) looks at the beauties of a woman, then lowers his gaze, Allah will reward him with an act of worship that he feels its sweetness in his heart>>.

An anonymous from one of the coastal cities says "When I was young, my only pastime was to hang out with my friends in the streets and on the beach to look at beautiful women and girls and harass them. It used to give me great pleasure at first, then, over time, it turned to be something like addiction. I started to fall back in my studies, and the pictures of the girls and women I looked at, would stick to my mind and never left me when I was awake nor when I was asleep".

"And they came to me in my dreams. I started to live a strange life; a mixture of reality and dreams. Unlike all my peers , I failed to form any successful relation with any of my female colleagues.. My spirits were so low, and I started to go to psychiatrists, and to take sedatives, until someone advised me to get married, Which I did. I thought, like everyone did, that, with marriage, my problem would come to an end, and that my suppressed desires would be vented out naturally. Easier said! I realized that I suffered from sexual frigidity to a degree that I couldn’t imagine. Life turned dark in my eyes and I cried every night like a child".

"Day after day, and as I started to pray and read Quran regularly, peace returned to my soul. One day, I read that verse from surat Al Noor, in which God says what means (Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze), and it was such a great day in my life. I became sure that this Book (The Quran) can not be the words of anyone but the Creator of this universe. I have loved Allah so much since that day, and loved His Book too. That Book ,whose letters and words touches every part of the human soul, and guide it to the light, purity and righteousness. And after obeying Allah, I recovered and came back to my previous normal state "

by Come! Let us spread the message of peace,the message of Islam.

Rights of Parents .

2011-04-20T01:12:00.000-07:00

Rights of Parents
.
1. You should not cause them any harm even if they commit any excesses.
2. Respect and honour them in your speech and dealings with them.
3. Obey them in permissible acts.
4. If they are in need of money, assist them even if they are kafirs.
5. The following rights are due to parents after their death:
(a) Continue making duas of forgiveness and mercy for them. Continue sending rewards to them in the form of optional acts of worship and charity on their behalf.
(b) Meet their friends and relatives in a friendly way and also assist them wherever possible.
(c) If you have the finances, fulfil their unpaid debts and the permissible bequests that they have made.
(d) When they pass away, abstain from crying and wailing aloud or else their souls will be troubled.
6. According to the Shariah, the rights of the paternal and maternal grandparents are similar to those of the parents and they should be regarded as such.
7. Similarly, the rights of the maternal and paternal uncles and aunts are similar to those of the parents. This has been deduced from certain Ahadith. (Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: “The maternal aunt has the status of one�s mother

Characteristics of a Pious Husband

2011-04-20T01:01:00.000-07:00

Characteristics of a Pious Husband

On the Day of Judgment :Allah will ask men if they fulfilled their obligations towards their families. They who fear Allah will do their best to direct the way his wife and children live by educating himself and his family to living according to the Sunnah of the Prophet(Sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) and the Holy Qur’an, the final word of Allah.

The Prophet(Sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said, “The best of you is the best one to his family.” [Al-Tabarani]

To share food with her, to provide her with (decent) clothes as he provides himself, to refrain from smacking her, and not ignoring her but in the house. [Ahmad]

One should not hate his believer wife. If he dislikes some of her attitudes, he would (surely) like others (attitudes). [Muslim]

Woman was created from a bent rib and will not be made straight for you on one way (that you like). If you want to enjoy her, you enjoy her while she is still bent. If you want to straighten her up, you will break her. Breaking her is divorcing her. [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

Do (volunteer) fasting (some days) and do not fast (in other days), pray at night (some nights) and sleep (in other nights). Your body has a right on you (to rest), your eye has a right on you (to sleep), and your wife has a right on you. [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

Fear Allah in (treating) women. [Muslim]

Be advised to treat women righteously. [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

And live with them honorably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing that Allah brings through it a great deal of good. [4:19]

The Prophet (Sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said,”A Dinar (a currency) that you spend on your family, a Dinar that you spend on a poor person and a Dinar that you spend in the sake of Allah. The one that carries the most reward is the one that you spend on your family.” [Muslim]

The Prophet(Sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said to Saaid ibn Abi Waqqas,”Know that no charity that you give whether small or large, for the sake of Allah, but you will be rewarded for it, even the bite (of food) that you put in your wife’s mouth.” [Bukhari & Muslim]

by Al-Islaah Publications

HOW TO BE A SUCCESSFUL MUSLIM WIFE

2011-04-07T01:31:00.000-07:00

HOW TO BE A SUCCESSFUL MUSLIM WIFE

by Muslim Marriage .

In Islam, marriage is a blessed contract between a man and a woman. Each have their own role to play in making a marriage successful. It is a bit more difficult but certainly possible to make even a selected partner in a marriage a success.

Steps

Be the best wife you can be. Being a good Muslim wife is in many ways similar to being a good wife in other religions. Sure it has its own special features and requirements, just like any other religion. However, there are common basic methods and guidelines for being a good wife in general. Follow them
Make Dua. Always ask Allah for forgiveness and blessings on your marriage.
Understand and respect your husband's rights. Study authentic ahaadith and make sure that you understand your obligations as a wife. These include the husband's right to always expect obedience from his wife - as long as his commands do not go against the Shariah - and above all his conjugal rights. Offer to wear the niqaab - your husband will appreciate it if you save your beauty for him alone.
Be secure in yourself. Putting yourself down in front of him is another way of insulting his taste in women. If he is with you, it's because he wants to be. He will find you sexy even if you don't feel like it, if you act the part. Remember that attitude and willingness are large parts of being sexy. Poor self-esteem and a "void" in your life is terrible for marriage. Make sure you still have a fun and interesting life. If your husband left tomorrow, would you still have girlfriends you see at least once a month, hobby clubs you go to, sports you play? If not, your husband will always be working to fill a void he can't, and will feel inadequate and unhappy.
Express, don't accuse. Except in the rare event that your husband happens to be psychic, don't expect mind-reading powers. If you want something, ask. If something is wrong, say so. Don't drop hints or figure he'll "come around". Communicate calmly, clearly and directly. Relationships work best when each partner calmly express their current emotion without harping on what he has done. Frequently, a "I feel attacked" or "I feel sad" is all it takes for him to step back and ask, "Why?" Then simply say, "When you slammed the door, I felt ignored." Let "I feel" be your guide.
Don't expect the moon. He needs to keep trying, you need to keep trying, but neither of you is perfect. Unmet expectations tend to frustrate everyone. However, if you both keep working on your marriage, you will always be covered, even when one of you comes up a little short. If your expectations are truly too high or unrealistic, then set standards that are obtainable. For example, it is unfair to expect to be lavished with possessions and have the love of your life home for every meal. Should you want more together time, be prepared to have that desire fulfilled at some expense.
Pick your battles. Nagging and nitpicking can destroy a relationship. As long as the dishes are clean and unbroken, for instance, don't nag about how to load the dishwasher "the right way". Let him do things his own way. Don't sweat the small stuff. Focus on what is important.
Accept him. Only by accepting him as he is, do you have such deep respect and gratitude for him that you would never want him to change in any way for you. He has so much to offer you if only you give him the space to be himself. He is a growing individual, just like you are. Help him grow in the direction that he chooses, and give him the chance to help you.

Tips

It is recommended not to criticize your husband, not in his presence, not in his absence, not when you're in front of people, and not when you're alone together. Be supportive, encouraging, and compliment him as much as you can. This doesn't mean you shouldn't voice your concerns, but there's a difference between expressing your needs and criticizing his ability to meet them.

Warnings

Don't ever accept abuse (physical or otherwise). Islam requires a good wife to be loving and obeying to her full extent of ability, but it also obliges a man to respect his wife, and treat her in a civilized and tender manner. Understand that this is an obligation your husband must fulfill. Being a good wife in Islam does not mean you have to suffer in silence if your husband is physically, verbally or in any other way abusive.
- Learn how to recognize a manipulative or controlling relationship.
- Talk things out or see a counselor. If you're forced to do things, if he hits you at all, if he tries to control who you see or demeans you, it's definitely not a good relationship. A real man gets what he wants without forcing.
- Make sure you're safe if he turns violent, even once. Depending on the situation that might mean moving out, or calling the police, or telling someone what's happening - whatever you do, don't continue to suffer in silence, and don't accept abuse (physical or otherwise) in your relationship. Remember that he will come back, as loving as ever, and apologize again and again, and the violence escalates each time.

HOW TO BE A SUCCESSFUL MUSLIM HUSBAND

2011-04-06T11:35:00.000-07:00

HOW TO BE A SUCCESSFUL MUSLIM HUSBAND

Steps

Begin with a good greeting: When you return from work or travel, greet her. Start with "As Salaamu Alaikum". Smile to her. Give her a kiss. Tell her you love her, she will never forget this. There is always time for telling bad news.Have a sense of humor. Joke around. Play games with her.
Listen to her: Give her your attention when she speaks.
Talk with her: Talk with her about her feelings and your good memories.Spend time talking together. Postpone telling bad news to her until a suitable time. Look for the most suitable way to convey bad news.
Be Cheerful: Be happy, cheerful, friendly and gentle when you meet your wife.
Help her: Doing housework is not easy. You have a share of the housework too. Especially if she is sick or tired, don't wait untill she asks you to help.
Be Honest: Avoid telling her lies. If you're not truthful with her, she will never trust you. Always tell her the truth.
Consult her: Let her feel her opinion is important to you. Change your decision if she has a better opinion.
Thank her: Thank her for all the nice things she does, this will give her self-confidence.
Bring her a gift: It should not be an expensive gift, but is should be something she likes.
Listen to her Halal Demands: Let her improve you as a person. Encourage her to enjoin people to righteousness and discourage people from sinning. Encourage her to meet with her good friends and relatives. Take her out for halal entertainment. Entertain her yourself in halal ways!
Be nice to her in bed: Adhere to Islamic etiquitte of marriage and sex. Have a healthy intimate life with her and encourage and praise her during that. Incorporate halal means to improve your love life and her satisfaction.
Make Dua: Ask Allah to help you achieve and maintain excellent relations with your wife

Tips

Help her in serving Allah. Wake her up in the last third of the night to pray "Qiyam-al-Layl". Teach her what you know of the Quran, Hadith, Tafseer and Dhikr.
Take her to Hajj and Umrah whenever you afford to do so.
Take her to visit her family frequently but especially at some occasions.
Be generous. Give her enough money. Never wait until she asks for that.
trust her, love her, understand her.
treat her generously.
Understand her fair needs and necessities and try his best to fulfill them.
Always share with her (some joke, special moments of your Business/Job/any profession, any emergency news, family matters, own habits).
Arrange some parties/sittings with your best friends' families in order to strong your family relation, expand her vision, and in this way she also able to support you in your outside matter.

Warnings

Never blame your wife for the bad cooking of the food. If you like the food, eat and thank her. If you don't like the food, say nothing.
Don't insult her. If you've hurt her feelings, say "I'm sorry" and try to please her.
Don't describe other men to her. Don't compare other women with her.
Avoiding excess Gheerah. Don't prevent her from answering the phone. Give her space so she wont feel suffocated
Avoid shaming her such as insulting her
Avoid returning at an unexpected time or at night, she may start to get suspicious.
Never blame her without any strong evidence.
Never break her trust not even in joke.

Do not interfere in matters that do not concern you

2011-04-06T06:38:00.000-07:00

Do not interfere in matters that do not concern yo

by Dawah Blog

“From the excellence of

one’s Islam is to leave that which does not concern him.”

How beautiful is this expression, especially if you were to hear it from the righteous and pure mouth of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ! Yes, to leave that which does not concern him!

How many are those cumbersome people who bother you by interfering in matters that do not concern them? They bother you when they see your watch, “How much did you buy this for?”

You reply, “This was given to me as a gift”.

Then they would say, “A gift? From whom?”

You reply, “From a friend.”

He would continue, “Your friend from the university? Or your locality? Or elsewhere?”

You reply, “Well, a friend of mine from the university.”

He keeps pressing, “Okay, but what was the occasion?”

You respond, “Well, an occasion, from our university days.”

He then says, “Yes, but what occasion in particular? Graduation? Or when you went on a trip? Or something else?”

He would continue to ask you questions about an utterly worthless matter! I ask you, by Allaah, wouldn’t you feel like shouting at him, saying, “Do not interfere in that which does not concern you!’ And even worse is if he were to put you in an awkward situation by asking you an embarrassing question in public!

I remember, once I was in a gathering with a group of my friends. After the Maghrib prayer, one of my friends’ mobile phone rang. He was sitting next to me. He answered the phone,

“Yes?”

His wife shouted on the phone, “Hello! Where are you, you donkey?” Her voice was so loud that I could hear their conversation well. He said, “I am fine, may Allaah protect you.” It seemed as though he had promised her to take her to her family, but became busy with us. His wife became really angry and said, “May Allaah not protect you! You are quite happy to be with your friends all the while I wait for you. By Allaah, you are a bull!”

He said, “May Allaah be pleased with you. I will come to you after ‘Ishaa.”

I realised that his speech did not exactly correspond to hers. Thereafter I realised that he was speaking in this manner in order to save himself from embarrassment.

He then finished his call. I began to look at those present, thinking to myself that one of them will ask him, “Who was that on the phone? What does he want from you? Why did your face change after the conversation?” But Allaah had mercy on him; no one interfered in a matter which did not concern them.

Likewise, if you were to visit a patient and ask him about his illness, and he were to reply vaguely, “al-Hamdulillah, nothing major, just minor illness”, and such expressions that do not explicitly answer the question, do not embarrass him by persisting on asking detailed questions, such as, “I am sorry, but what exactly is the illness? Please clarify what you said” and so on. Why the need to embarrass him?

From the excellence of one’s Islam is to leave that which does not concern him. I mean, are you really waiting for him to tell you, “I have haemorrhoids”, or “I have an injury, in an embarrassing place”, etc? As long as he gave you a vague response, there is no need to ask him for details. I do not mean that he should not question the patient about his illness. What I mean is that one should not ask detailed questions about another’s illness.

Another example of this is a person who called out to a student in front of all the people in a public gathering, and asked in a loud voice, “Hey! Ahmad! Did you pass?” Ahmad said, “Yes’. He asked, “What percentage? What grade?”

If he truly cared for him, he would have asked him when he was alone. There was also no need to go into details by asking “What percentage? Why didn’t you revise? Why weren’t you accepted in the university?” If he was really ready to help him, then he could have taken him to the side and spoken to him about whatever he liked. But as for displaying his dirty laundry in public, then that certainly was not genuine!

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “From the excellence of one’s Islam is to leave that which does not concern him.”

However, be careful. Do not make a matter larger than it is. Once I was travelling to Madinah and was busy delivering a number of lectures. So I agreed with a kind young man to take my two sons, ‘Abd ar-Rahman and Ibrahim, after ‘Asr, to their Qur’an memorisation circles, or some summer amusement centre, and to return with them after ‘Isha.

‘Abd ar-Rahman was ten years old. I feared that that young man may ask him some useless questions, such as, “What is your mother’s name? Where is your house? How many brothers do you have? How much pocket money does your father give you?” So I warned ‘Abd ar-Rahman and said, “If he were to ask you an inappropriate question, just say to him that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘From the excellence of one’s Islam is to leave that which does not concern him.’” I repeated to him the Hadith until he had memorised it.

‘Abd ar-Rahman and his brother then sat in the car with this young man. ‘Abd ar-Rahman was at the time both very tense and respectful. The young man said out of kindness, “May Allaah prolong your life, O ‘Abd ar-Rahman!” ‘Abd ar-Rahman replied, “May Allaah prolong your life, too!” The poor young man wanted to lighten up the atmosphere a bit, so he said, “Is the Shaykh delivering any lecture today?” ‘Abd ar-Rahman tried to remember the Hadith, but his memory did not help him, so he yelled, “Do not interfere in things that do not concern you!” The young man said, “I mean, I would just like to attend his lecture and benefit.”

‘Abd ar-Rahman then thought that he was trying to be clever, so he repeated the same response, ‘“Do not interfere in things that do not concern you.” The young man then said, “I am sorry, ‘Abd al-Rahman. But what I mean is…”, but ‘Abd ar-Rahman again shouted, “No! Do not interfere in that which does not concern you!” They remained on these terms until I returned. ‘Abd ar- Rahman then informed me of the entire story with pride, so I laughed and had to explain the concept to him once again.

Workshop…

Struggling against yourself to free yourself from interfering in others’ affairs is exhausting in the beginning, but easy in the end.

Is it permissible for my wife to shake hands with my father

2011-04-05T12:33:00.000-07:00

Is it permissible for my wife to shake hands with my father

Praise be to Allaah.

Yes, that is permissible, because when a man makes a marriage contract with a woman, his father becomes a mahram for her, as does his son from another wife. And her mother becomes a mahram for him, as does her daughter from another husband.

This is called a mahram by marriage.

The evidence that the husband’s father is a mahram for the son’s wife is the verse in which Allaah mentions the women who are mahrams (interpretation of the meaning):

“the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins”

[al-Nisa’ 4:23]

So the wife of the son is a mahram for her husband’s father.

The evidence that the husband’s son is a mahram for his father’s wife is the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And marry not women whom your fathers married, except what has already passed”

[al-Nisa’ 4:22]

The evidence that the wife’s mother is a mahram for her daughter’s husband is the verse in which Allaah mentions the women who are mahrams (interpretation of the meaning):

“…your wives’ mothers”

[al-Nisa’ 4:23]

These three (the husband’s father, his son and the wife’s mother) become mahrams as soon as the marriage contract is done, and that is not subject to the condition that the marriage be consummated.

With regard to the wife’s daughter, she does not become a mahram for her mother’s husband unless he has consummated the marriage with her mother, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“ and your stepdaughters under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom you have gone in — but there is no sin on you if you have not gone in them (to marry their daughters),”

[al-Nisa’ 4:23]

The stepdaughter (rabeebah) is the daughter of one's wife.

See al-Mughni, 9/514, 524.

In conclusion: the husband’s father is a mahram for his son’s wife, so he may shake hands with her and be alone with her and travel with her. See questions no : 5538 , 20750

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A

A 18YERS OLD YOUN MAN WHO DIED IN ONE OF HOPITAL OF OMAN

2011-04-05T12:24:00.000-07:00

A 18-year old young man who died in one of hospitals of Oman. The corpse of the boy has been dug out from a tomb in 3 hours after his funeral under the insisting of his father. The boy died in hospital and has been buried under the Islamic law and on the same day after obligatory ablution of the body. However after funeral the father has doubted of the diagnosis of doctors and wanted to identify the true reason of his death.

Relatives and his friends shocked when they saw the corpse. He was completely different within 3 hours. He turned grey as the very old man, with traces of obvious tortures and the most severe beating, with the broken bones of hands and legs, with the edges broken and pressed into a body.

All His body and face were full of bruise. The open eyes-showed hopeless fear and pain. The blood obviously attributes that the boy has been subjected to the most severe torture.

Close relatives of the dead man have addressed to Islamic scientists who have unequivocally declared that it is available results of tomb torture which the Allah ( s.w.t) and in the Hadis of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) have warned.

The shocked father of the boy has admitted that his son was spoilt, did not do Solat, and had a carefree way of life, having involved in different sins.

Each died person comes across tests in the tomb for exception Shahids who died in Jihad on the way of Allah. This is first terrible test which the person comes across before the Doomsday.

In Hadis of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w):
- After the death the spirit of died person will return to a body then two Angels will come, Munkar and Nakir, and will ask: “Who is your Lord?” he will answer: “my Lord – Allah “. Then they will ask: “What is your religion?” he will answer: “My religion – Islam”. Then they will ask him: “Who that person who has been sent to you?” he will answer: “He is the Prophet of Allah “. Then they will ask him: “How do you know?” He will answer: “I read the Book of Allah and trusted Him.

And then from heavens the voice will come: ” My Slave has told the truth, lay it to bed from Paradise and open the Gate of Paradise ” – then it will be full of pleasure and he begins to feel paradise pleasure, and his tomb becomes spacious, that eyes can reach.

The Prophet of Allah Muhammad (s.a.w) said about the sinners. After the death the spirit of died person will return to the body then two Angels will come and ask, “Who is your Lord?” he will answer: “I do not know”. Then they will ask: ” Who that person who has been sent to you?” he again will answer: I “do not know” – and then from the sky the voice will come: “he told a lie, Put him into a box from fire and open before it the Gate of a hell! “-then it will be captured with heat of the hell, and his tomb becomes narrow and the edges will be compressed.

In Hadis it is also said, that Angels will severely beat the sinners during interrogation in the tomb and this torture will be awful. It is informed also, that our Messenger ( s.a.w) supplicated to Allah to protect Him from tortures of a tomb and asked other people to do so.

The history of 18-year old young men is a sign for believers and this is only next fairy tale for whom hearts are sealed by Allah. They look and do not see, listen and do not hear?

This story was translated from other language into English. That’s why I apologize in advance for mistakes.

Laughter Not Only Feels Good, It's Good for the Heart

2011-04-01T23:10:00.000-07:00

FRIDAY, April 1 (HealthDay News) -- Having a good laugh on April Fool's Day or any other day of the year helps relieve stress and benefits your blood vessels, an expert says.

"Laughter increases blood flow and improves the function of blood vessels. Reducing stress is especially beneficial for persons who have hypertension [high blood pressure]," Dr. Vivienne Halpern said in a Society for Vascular Surgery news release.

April is National Stress Awareness Month in the United States.

"Laughter reduces the level of stress hormones [cortisol, epinephrine, dopamine and growth hormone] and increases the level of health-enhancing hormones [endorphins and neurotransmitters]," Halpern explained. "This can result in a stronger immune system and fewer physical effects of stress."

Along with reducing stress and improving blood flow and blood vessel function, laughter helps relax muscles and creates a sense of well-being, she added.

High blood pressure is linked to stroke, a leading cause of death in the United States.

More information

The American Academy of Family Physicians has more about coping with stress.

(SOURCE: Society for Vascular Surgery, news release, March 28, 2011

HealthDayNews articles .

A Good Night's Sleep

2011-04-01T22:51:00.000-07:00

It might seem funny to devote an article to sleeping. But think about it. The average person spends around eight hours of a 24-hour day asleep. That is a third of a person’s lifetime. Allah describes sleep as a blessing from Him. He says in the Qur’an: “And We made your sleep a rest for you.” [Surah al-Naba’: 9] “And remember when He made slumber fall upon you as a reassurance from Him.” [Surah al-Anfal: 11] “It is Allah who has made the night for you, that you may rest therein, and the days as that which helps you to see. Verily Allah is full of grace and bounty to humanity, yet most people give no thanks.” [Surah Ghafir: 61] Sleep is not only described as a blessing bestowed upon the people, but also as a testament to Allah’s creative ability. Consider where Allah says: “He it is who gathers up your souls at night and knows all that you do by day. Then He raises you up again, so that the term appointed for you (on Earth) may be accomplished. And afterward unto Him is your return. Then He will proclaim to you what you used to do.” [Surah al-An`am: 60] “Allah takes the souls at the time of their death, as well as (the souls of) those who die not, during their sleep. Then He withholds those on whom He has passed the decree of death and sends the others back until an appointed term. Most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect.” [Surah al-Zumar: 42] Yes, sleep is His creation, and it has its marvels. A sleeping person drifts away from his consciousness and reason, only to be fully restored to his rational faculties upon waking, refreshed and revitalized. A sleeping person can see the strangest and most amazing things, things that a waking person could never possibly see. Our ability to dream is another of Allah’s blessings, and another sign of His greatness. We can appreciate the importance of sleep if we consider that Allah guided His Messenger (peace be upon him) regarding the etiquettes of sleeping, like being in a state of purity and lying on his right side. (As for facing the qiblah, this is actually not established by the Sunnah.) Likewise, a number of remembrances and supplications are prescribed for sleeping. The Prophet (peace be upon him) instructed `Ali b. Abi Talib and Fatimah to say “Subhan Allah” 33 times, “al-Hamdu Lillah” 33 times, and “Allah Akbar” 33 times. He informed them that doing so will remove their fatigue and revitalize them, and said: “It is better than having a servant.” [Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim] Our generation is sometimes accused of being “the sleeping generation”. Most of us certainly do not need to sleep more than we already do. Nevertheless, we must respect our need to sleep by observing the etiquettes and approaches to sleep that will maximise the benefit that we get from it. This, in turn, helps us manage stress and makes our waking hours more productive. It is a mistake to dismiss the importance of sleep. We all need it, and we all get our daily quota of sleep. Therefore, it is wrong that we make light of the subject of sleep and disdain reading or speaking about it, as if it were something superfluous. In order to sleep better, we should first relax a bit. We need to unwind from the pressures, worries, and distresses of the day. We need to end the day on a note of forgiveness and with a few moments of tenderness with our families. We need to recite our remembrances of Allah and rid our hearts of all our animosities. We should not lay our heads down on our pillows with resentfulness in our hearts and angry thoughts in our minds. We should make our last thoughts of the day positive ones. Source: Islamtoday

Muhammad (PU.H): Behaviour Towards Childrens..

2011-04-01T13:41:00.000-07:00

The Prophet (pbuh) said: "Convey (my teachings) to the people even if it were a single sentence.." (Bukhari)

All praises and thanks be to Allah, the creator of mankind, jinns and all that exists. The greatest thing that God had offered humanity is that he provided them messengers chosen from among the best of their kind.

We are now discussing about The Prophet’s (Peace Be Upon Him) Characters and Features.

Muhammad (PBUH) was always very kind to children. Amr ibn (RA) Said quoted Anas(RA) as saying, “I have never seen anyone act more kindly towards children than God’s Messenger (PBUH). His son Ibrahim was being suckled in the neighbourhood of Medinah. He (PBUH) would go, accompanied by us, and enter the house which was full of smoke, the child’s foster-father being a blacksmith. He (PBUH) would take him and kiss him and then go back.”

It was his practice, whenever he (PBUH) came back from a journey, to let the children, who met him on the way, ride before and behind him and he always greeted them first. One day Khalid bin Said (RA) came to him with his little daughter, Hasna, who was wearing a red dress. Muhammad (PBUH) said, “Sana.” She had been born in Abyssinia and in their language, Hasna was called San i, and he (PBUH) called her Sana in that context. He (PBUH) had a seal of prophethood at his back and it looked like a lump. She began to play with it so Khalid told her off but Muhammad (PBUH) stopped him and let her play.

Anas(RA) said, “I never prayed behind an Imam who was more brief or more perfect in his prayer than God’s Messenger (PBUH). If he (PBUH) heard a baby crying, he (PBUH) would shorten the prayer for fear that the mother might be distressed.” Abu Qatada (RA) reported God’s Messenger (RA) as saying, “When I begin the prayer, I intend to make it long, but I hear a baby crying and shorten the prayer, being aware of the Mother’s emotion because of the crying.”

He (PBUH) used to kiss children and loved them very much. Once he (PBUH) was kissing children when a Bedouin came and said, “You love children very much. I have ten children and I have never kissed one of them.” Muhammad (PBUH) replied, “What can I do if God takes away love from you?”. Jabir bin Samra (RA), one of his companions, reported an incident of his childhood. “Once I offered the prayer with God’s Messenger (PBUH). After the prayer, when he (PBUH) went towards his house, I went with him. We were joined by more boys, and he kissed them all and me too.” When he was entering the town of Medinah, after emigrating from Makkah, some young girls of the Ansar were singing with joy in front of their houses. When he (PBUH) passed by, he (PBUH) said, “O girls! You love me.” All said, “Yes, O God’s Messenger.” Then he (PBUH) said, “1 love you also. Yusuf bin Abdullah (RA) said that when he (PBUH) was born his parents took him to God’s Messenger for his blessing; he (PBUH) suggested the name, Yusuf, and put him in his lap. He (PBUH) patted him on the head and prayed for the Blessings of God for him.’

To sum up, Muhammad (PBUH) was very kind and affectionate to children. He (PBUH) loved them and always treated them with immense kindness and gentleness.

Source: ilovallaah

How to Win your wife's love ??/

2011-04-01T13:29:00.001-07:00

How to Win your Wife's Love???

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In the name of Allah , the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful.

In today's life of hustle and bustle, the family unit is becoming fragile by the day. Divorces are on the rise, and Muslims can no longer claim, as justifiably as before, that divorce is rare among Muslims or even much less than incidents of divorce among non-Muslims. The article, originally contributed by several bloggers and readers on MuslimMatters.org, is divided in two parts and will list out ways to keep up your spouse's love. Feel free to write to us your own list with experiences. Having said that, let's take on the men first, here's how you can keep up your wife's love:

1. Make her feel secure, don't threaten her with divorce.

2. Give sincere Salaams.

3. Treat her gently, like a fragile vessel.

4. Advise in private, at the best time, in the best way and atmosphere.

5. Be generous with her.

6. Warm the seat for her, you will warm her heart.

7. Avoid anger, be in Wudhu at all times.

8. Look good and smell great for your wife.

9. Don't be rigid or harsh-hearted or you will be broken.

10. Be a good listener.

11. Yes for flattery. No for arguing.

12. Call your wife with the best names, cute nicknames, and names she loves to hear.

13. A pleasant surprise.

14. Preserve and guard the tongue.

15. Expect, accept, and overlook her shortcomings.

16. Give sincere compliments.

17. Encourage her to keep good relations with her family.

18. Speak of the topic of her interest.

19. Express to her relatives, how wonderful she is.

20. Give each other gifts.

21. Get rid of routine, surprise her.

22. Have a good opinion of each other.

23. Have good manners, overlook small things, don't nitpick.

24. Add a drop of patience, increase during pregnancy, menses.

25. Expect and respect her jealously.

26. Be humble.

27. Sacrifice your happiness for hers.

28. Help at home, with housework.

29. Help her love your relatives, but do not try to force her.

30. Let her know that she is the ideal wife for you.

31. Remember your wife in Duâa.

32. Leave the past for Allah, do not dwell on, dig into, or bring it up.

33. Do not act as if you are doing her a favor by working or providing, Allah is the Provider, the husband is the carrier of the sustenance to the family.

34. Take Shaitan as your enemy, not your wife.

35. Put food in your wife's mouth.

36. Treat your wife like she is the most precious pearl that you want to protect.

37. Show her your smile.

38. Do not ignore the small things, deal with them before they be come big.

39. Avoid being harsh-hearted.

40. Respect and show that you appreciate her thinking.

41. Help her to find and build her inner strengths and skills.

42. Respect that she might not be in mood for intimacy, stay within Halaal boundaries.

43. Help her take care of the children.

44. Give her gifts with your tongue, be an artist with your compliments.

45. Sit down and eat meals together.

46. Let her know that you will be traveling or returning from travel, give her sufficient notice.

47. Don't leave home in anger.

48. Maintain the secrecy and privacy of the home.

49. Encourage each other in worship.

50. Respect and fulfill her rights upon you.

51. Live with her in kindness, goodness, fairness in good and bad times.

52. Kiss your wife, foreplay, don't jump on her like a bull.

53. Keep disputes between the two of you, don't take it outside.

54. Show care for her health and well-being.

55. Remember you are not always right or perfect yourself.

56. Share your happiness and sadness with her.

57. Have mercy for her weaknesses.

58. Be a firm support for her to lean on.

59. Accept her as is, she is a package deal.

60. Have a good intention for her.

61. Cook a dish for her.

62. Designate a nice, clean, spacious area in your home for the two of you to pray at night whenever you can.

63. Women love flowers. Make a trail of them on the floor leading to the gift you made for her.

64. Give her a nice massage when she least expects it.

65. Send your wife a text message out of the blue with a message of love.

66. Send your wife an email without a reason.

67. Go out on a date or a get-away for the weekend in a nice location, preferably without kids.

68. Do something for your wife's family, whether it is a gift, or a chat with her teen brother who needs mentoring, or whatever. It will get you lots of brownie points.

69. Do not keep reminding and demanding your rights all the time.

70. Shop groceries for her and call her from the store and ask her what she needs for the home, for herself or for her to give to people as gifts.

71. Ask her if she would like to invite her female friends over for ladies only get together and arrange for the dinner.

72. Ask her to send gifts to her parents and siblings.

73. Help her parents pay off debt. Send her poor relatives some money.

74. Write love notes or poems and place them in the book she's been reading.

75. If she tells you something she had just learned from the Qur'an or Hadith, do not dismiss her or ridicule her effort, instead listen to her and take her word.

76. Plant her a kitchen garden with all kind of herbs she needs for cooking.

78. Update her PC or laptop with a new one or get her a new mobile phone.

79. Learn to do a special massage technique and surprise her with your new expertise.

80. Teach your children to respect and honor their mother.

81. Be humorous with her when she makes a mistake in the kitchen (like when she put too much salt or burnt her baking). '“

Having many Children

2011-01-28T13:34:00.000-08:00

In the Name of Allaah, The Most Merciful, The Bestower of MercyImaam Muslim Bin Hajjaj (rahimahullah) says in his book Saheeh Muslim:

Qutaybah Bin Sa’eed narrated to us (that): Layth narrated to us from S’ad Bin Abee Sa’eed from his father from Abu Hurairah that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said:

“There was not from amongst the Prophets a Prophet except that he was given from the signs by the likes of which the people believed in him. And indeed, that which I was but given is revelation which Allah revealed to me, so I hope that I will have the most followers from them (the Prophets) on the Day of Resurrection.”

Commenting on the last part of the hadeeth ‘…so I hope that I will have the most followers from them (the Prophets) on the Day of Resurrection.’ Sheikh Al-‘Uthaymeen (rahimahullah) says:

‘…And in this, there is an indication that our Prophet - may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him and may Allah reward him from us with good - that he loved that we become many, and that we become the most numerous of the nations on the Day of Resurrection. And this is a confirmation of his saying:

“Marry the loving and the fertile, for indeed I will try to outnumber (the previous nations) through you on the Day of Resurrection.”

And in it (the hadeeth) also, is that it is imperative that we shout out with this hadeeth in the ears of those people who say: ‘Limit the amount of children’ or ‘plan the amount of children’ or that which resembles this, in that we say (to them): Increase the amount of children. This is what is correct.

And (as for) the excuse that their upbringing is overburdened, (then) we say: Yes, their upbringing would be overburdened if Allah entrusted them to you and (if) you depended upon the perceptive matter . However, if you depended upon Allah and entrusted their affair to Allah, then Allah would suffice you with the provisions. And likewise is the one who says: ‘The sustenance is restricted (through having many children).’ (This is) a word of pre-Islamic ignorance. In the pre-Islamic ignorance they used to kill their children out of fear of poverty, so whosoever says: ‘The sustenance is restricted (through having many children)’, then it is said to him: How is the sustenance restricted and Allah, The Mighty and The Majestic says:

‘And no living creature is there on the earth but its sustenance is due from Allah. And He knows its dwelling place and its deposit…’ [Surah Hud: Verse 6]

And a man who was poor informed me, (he was) from amongst those who take a cloth and a woollen cloak and roam through the market places (and) they (the people) forbid him from it, he said: Indeed, he got married and in the week of his marriage he said: ‘A door of sustenance was opened for me which I could not even anticipate’. Then his first child was born to him and he said: ‘By Allah, from the time his mother gave birth to him, another door (of sustenance) was opened for
me.’

Subhaanallah!

And this, if a person believes in what Allah, The Mighty and The Majestic, has said, that which is intended will occur. However, our problem is that shaytaan whispers to us and we depend upon the apparent perceptive matters. Otherwise, if we depended upon the promise of Allah, The Mighty and The Majestic, it would be sufficient and that which was intended would occur.

If we were to assume that there are harms out there for the mother, whereby she does not give birth except by way of an operation and it (the operation) occurs frequently and perhaps some day it (the stomach) will explode, or if she was ill and cannot endure (the pregnancy), then this is something else. And for every situation there is a saying and she (the woman and her situation) is looked at.

As for when the matters are natural, then it is obligatory upon us to prevent the women from using the pills which prevent pregnancy and that we say: Let every woman from amongst you seek the assistance of Allah, The Mighty and The Majestic.

Some of the women say: ‘When pregnancy occurs, tiredness afflicts me and I start to always love the pillow, and I do not have an appetite for food, and craving comes along and she begins to enumerate and enumerate (other things).’ So, we say: Your mother who gave birth to you, did not they (these things) afflict her? And Allah The Most High says in the Qur’an:

‘…his mother carried him with hardship and she gave birth to him with hardship…’ [Surah Al-Ahqaaf: Verse 15]

And He says in another verse:

‘…his mother carried him with weakness upon weakness …’ [Surah Luqmaan: Verse 14]

It is inevitable that there is weakness and it is inevitable that there is a dislike of this weakness and this harm. However, the woman has patience and she anticipates the reward (from Allah).

As for with respect to Al-‘azl (withdrawing the penis before ejaculating), then it is authentic that it is permissible and it is not forbidden. However, it is in opposition to that which is better, for the Prophet (sallalahu alaihi wa sallam) was asked about Al-‘Azl and he said:

‘It is the hidden infanticide’, and he did not prohibit it.

However, the nearest (to the truth) of what is said, is that it is closer to being disliked. However, it is forbidden with respect to (practising it with) the wife except with her permission, for this is the right of the person. So, if the husband wanted to practice Al-‘Azl so that the woman stays in her youth – as is claimed – and she wants children, then indeed it is forbidden for him to practice Al-‘Azl. And if he practiced Al-‘Azl and she requested him not to practice Al-‘Azl, it is obligatory upon him not to practice Al-‘Azl. And if he practiced Al-‘Azl (again), then she can get an annulment (of the marriage).

By Shaykh Muhammad Bin Saaleh Al-‘Uthaymeen

Taken from At-Ta’leeq ‘Alaa Saheeh Muslim (Vol.1, Pp 483-489) of Sheikh Muhammad Bin
Saaleh Al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him).

Source: al-athariyyah.com

Excellent Qualities of Those Who Wear Hijab

2011-01-21T11:03:00.000-08:00

Al-Hamdulillah, it is well known that the Muslim woman is a creature of Haya (modesty). Allah loves for our Muslim women to be shielded by their Hijab. It is their outer protection from the decadence of this life. Allah's Messenger (Peace and blessings be upon him) has said:

"Verily! Allah is Hayiy (modest, bashful) & Sitteer (i.e. the One Who Shields - from disobedient acts). He loves Haya (i.e. He loves for one to practice modesty and bashfulness) and Sitteer (shielding; covering)." [Collected by Abu Dawud; An-Nasa'i; Al-Bayhaqi; Ahmad; & in Sahih An-Nasa'i]

Thus, as possessing Haya is a quality that is beloved by Allah our sisters must feel comfort in knowing that they have this Haya and not the women who show themselves to the world; hence, such women will not be shielded from Allah's Wrath. Allah's Messenger (Peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"Any woman who takes off her clothes in other than her husband's home (to show off for unlawful purposes), has broken Allah's shield upon her." [Collected by Abu Dawud & At-Tirmidhi]

Therefore, we see that the Hijab of the Muslim woman has a quality that comprises Haya (modesty). Haya is what proceeds from Iman (belief). That is why when Allah commands the women to observe Hijab, Allah says:

"And tell the believing women..." [Noble Quran 24:31]

Allah also says:

"...And the women of the believers..." [Noble Quran 33:59]

Furthermore, Allah's Messenger (Peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"Al-Haya (modesty & bashfulness) is from Imam (belief) and Imam is in Al-Jannah (the Paradise)." [At-Tirmidhi - Sahih]

He (Peace and blessings be upon him) also said:

"Haya (modesty and bashfulness) and Imam (belief) are fully associated together, if one is lifted the other follows suit." [Narrated by 'Abd Allah bin 'Umar; related by Al-Hakim in his "Mustadrak"]

My dear sisters in Islam, know that these women who beautify themselves for the world to see possess no Haya; thus, they are void of any Iman. Instead of looking to the latest fashion models for guidance, you, my dear sisters, must look to the wives of the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him). Look at the extreme amount of Haya that 'Aisha bint Abu Bakr possessed even in the presence of the deceased:

'Aisha said: "I used to enter the room where the Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings be upon him) and my father (Abu Bakr) were later buried in without having my garment on me, saying it is only my husband and my father. But when 'Umar ibn Al-Khattab was later buried in (the same place), I did not enter the room except that I had my garment on being shy from 'Umar." [As-Samt Ath-Thamin Fi Maniqib Ummahat Al-Mu'minin . Al-Hakim brings a similar narration which he says is "good according the conditions of Imam Bukhari and Imam Muslim"]

My dear sister in Islam, I know that it is quite difficult for you to go out wearing Hijab in a society that mocks and torments you. I know that you, indeed, feel strange and out of place. However, if you knew the status of those who are mocked by the Kuffar as well as the status of the strangers, you will continue to wear your Hijab (i.e. to cover your entire body with a Khimar as commanded (24:31), as well as with a Jilbab (33:59), with the exception of the hands and face; however, knowing the recommendation to cover those parts (as well) with dignity. Allah says in His Book:

"Verily! (During the worldly life) those who committed crimes used to laugh at those who believed. And whenever they passed by them, used to wink one to another (in mockery); And when they returned to their own people, they would return jesting; and when they saw them, they said: 'Verily! These have indeed gone astray!' But they (disbelievers, sinners) had not been sent as watchers over them (the believers). But on this Day (the Day of Resurrection) those who believe will laugh at the disbelievers. On (high) thrones, looking (at all things). Are not the disbelievers paid (fully) for what they used to do?" [Noble Quran 83:29-36]

Allah's words should serve as a support for you my dear sisters. Also, take comfort in being a stranger among these lewd and sinful women. Allah's Messenger (Peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"Islam began as something strange, and it would revert to its (old position) of being strange, so good tidings for the strangers." [Narrated by Abu Hurairah and Reported Sahih Muslim]

As-Sufur and It's Characteristics

As-Sufur means to expose or to un-cover. Therefore, instead of practicing the Hijab (covering), the women of the Kuffar practice As-Sufur. As-Sufur is sinful as it leads to At-Tabarruj (i.e. to make a dazzling display of oneself). Displaying oneself is a attribute of one who is Jahil (ignorant). Allah says:

"And stay in your houses and do not display yourselves (At-Tabarruj) like that of the times of ignorance..." [Noble Quran 33:33]

Allah's Messenger (Peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"The best of your women is the affectionate, the fertile (in productivity), the propitious (favorable), the consultative if they fear Allah. The most evil of your women are the Mutabarrijat (those who do At-Tabarruj), the Mutakhayyilat (who strut/swagger), and they are the hypocrites. Those who enter Al-Jannah (the Paradise) are like the Cough Crow." [Al-Bayhaqi in his "As-Sunan"]

My dear sisters in Islam, we see from the above Ayah and Hadith that displaying oneself is indeed Haram. Further, it is a quality of the most evil of women! Therefore, do not be envious of the women of the Kuffar. They only have this life to enjoy while the believing women will have Al-Jannah. There is nothing in your Hijab whatsoever to be ashamed of as it is the garment of the righteous and pious female slaves of Allah. In order to truly show you how evil those women who make As-Sufur and At-Tabarruj are, let us ponder over the following statement of Allah's Messenger (Peace and blessings be upon him):

"Of the people of Hell there are two types whom I have never seen, the one possessing whips like the tail of an Ox and they flog people with them. The second one, women who would be naked in spite of their being dressed, who are seduced (to wrong paths) and seduce others. Their hair is high like the humps (of camels). These women would not get into Al-Jannah (the Paradise) and they would not perceive its odor, although its fragrance can be perceived from such and such a distance." [Sahih Muslim]

Sisters in Islam, these women who practice At-Tabarruj are common among us today. These are women that even the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) did not see! Look around you and you will see those women who are clothed but naked! Look at the hair styles of the women who practice At-Tabarruj - are they not high like the camel's hump? My dear sister, perhaps we are the first generation since the time of the Prophet Adam (Peace be upon him) to witness such women. If one ponders over photos taken thirty to forty years ago, one will see that the women of the Kuffar did not make At-Tabarruj as their offspring do today. These are women who will be in the Hell Fire, save Allah has mercy upon them by guiding them to Islam! Thus, how can you envy them? My brothers, how can you desire them over your creature of Haya? These filthy women will not even smell the fragrance of Paradise. This Hadith also shows us that what the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) came with (i.e. the Qur'an and the Sunnah) is the Haqq (truth)! This is a prophecy that has come to pass in front of our very eyes. Hence, will we continue to envy these evil women or be grateful to our Lord for your Hijab which brings Haya?

Whatever I have written that is true is from Allah alone while anything that is false is from myself and Shaytan. Subhanaka Allahumma Wa Bihamdika, Ash Hadu An La Ilaha illa Anta, Astaghfiruka Wa Atubu Ilayk.

Khadejah Jones
Share Islam Team
ShareIslam.com

Ten ways to increase happiness in marriage!

2010-12-29T12:38:00.000-08:00

The young and excited bride-and-groom-to-be; ecstatic about the upcoming wedding and marriage and the joy that it will bring. Three to six months later, reality has set in and both spouses realize that marriage is no easy task, but one that takes a great deal of effort and patience. The following are tips for both wives and husbands, to help make the task a little less daunting, and to increase the many rewards that are possible in such a marvelous and complex relationship. Enter the Marriage with the Right Intention and Renew this Often

Both spouses should enter the marriage with the pure intention of pleasing Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, in order to receive His grace and blessings. The marriage itself then becomes an act of worship and one for which both spouses will be rewarded. Allah will be pleased with them and this will be the most critical element in ensuring peace, stability and happiness throughout the marital life. It is also important to realize that when an act of worship is continued over a long period of time, it becomes necessary to renew one's intention often to remain on the correct path and to obtain the most benefit.

Remember that Your Spouse is also Your Brother or Sister in Islam

Too often Muslims treat other people outside the home with kindness and sincerity, but then behave in a very different manner when it comes to their own spouses. Muslims should always remember that one's spouse is also another brother or sister in Islam and that the rights and duties that apply to the general brotherhood (sisterhood) of Islam, should also form the basis of the marital relationship. Obviously, a spouse has rights beyond these, but there should be a clear understanding of the rights of brotherhood (sisterhood) and adherence to these principles.

Do Not Hold Unrealistic Expectations

Before marriage, people often have unrealistic ideas about their spouse-to-be, expecting perfection in all aspects. This rarely, if ever, plays out in reality and can lead to unnecessary problems and concerns. We should recall that Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, created humans as imperfect beings, which means that many mistakes will be made throughout a lifetime. By turning the table and expecting imperfection, we will be pleasantly surprised and pleased when our spouse is much more than we ever hoped for. This, in turn, will lead to contentment within the marriage.

Emphasize the Best in Your Spouse

Since no one is endowed with all of the best qualities, emphasis should be placed on the positive qualities that a spouse possesses. Encouragement, praise, and gratitude should be expressed on a regular basis, which will strengthen these qualities and be beneficial in developing others. An attempt should be made to overlook or ignore negative characteristics, as the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "A believing man should not have any malice against a believing woman. He may dislike one characteristic in her, but may find another in her which is pleasing." (Muslim)

Be Your Mate's Best Friend

Try to think of what a best friend means and be one to your spouse. This may mean sharing interests, experiences, dreams, failures and upsets. It may involve understanding a spouse's likes and dislikes and attempting to please him or her in any way possible. A best friend is also usually someone that can be confided to trusted, and relied upon. A spouse should be the kind of friend that one would want to keep throughout life.

Spend Quality Time Together

It is not enough to share meals, chores and small talk together. Spouses should also find time to focus on strengthening the relationship. Often couples get busy with their own separate tasks and forget about working on one of the most important elements in life. Quality time may be anything from having a quiet, profound conversation to going for a nice long nature walk, to sharing a special hobby or project. Both spouses should enjoy the particular option chosen and distractions should be kept to a minimum.

Express Feelings Often

This is probably a very "Western" concept and one that some people may have difficulty fulfilling, but it is important to be open and honest about one's feelings, both positive and negative. The lines of communication should always be open and any concerns should be brought to the attention of the other spouse as soon as they arise. The rationale of this is that what begins as a simple concern may grow into a major problem if it is not addressed quickly and properly. The "silent treatment" has never been the remedy for anything.

Admit to Mistakes and ask for Forgiveness

Just as we ask Allah to forgive us when we make mistakes, we should also do the same with our spouses. The stronger person is the one who can admit when he or she is wrong, request pardon from the other, and work hard to improve his/her aspects that are in need of change. When a person is unwilling to do this, there will be little growth and development in the marriage.

Never Bring up Mistakes of the Past

It can be very hurting for another person to be reminded of past mistakes. In Islam, it is generally not recommended to dwell on the past. One may remember errors that were made so that they are not repeated, but this should not be done excessively. Certainly, as humans, we are not in the position to judge another person. Advice may be given, but not in a harmful manner.

Surprise Each Other at Times

This may entail bringing home a small gift or flowers, preparing a special meal, dressing up and beautifying oneself (this is not only for women), or sending a secret note in a lunchbox. A little imagination will go a long way here. The idea is to spice up the marriage and avoid getting into a dull routine that may negatively affect the marriage.

Have a Sense of Humour

This particular aspect can go a long way in preventing arguments and brightening the atmosphere of the home. Life is a constant stream of challenges and tests, and to approach it in a light-hearted manner will help to make the journey smoother and more enjoyable. You may also find that your spouse enjoys this characteristic and looks forward to spending time with you because of it.

Quick Tips for Discussions and Disagreements:

Begin with the intention to resolve the issue. If both spouses have this intention and plan to consult together, it is more likely that there will be a successful resolution.

Remember that it takes two to quarrel. If only one person chooses not to argue, there will be no argument. Generally, the one who is wrong does most of the talking.

Both spouses should not be angry at the same time. If one of the spouses becomes upset, it is best if the other tries to remain calm and collected.

Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire. Of course, house fires do not occur very frequently; yelling should occur at about the same rate.

Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. This is one of the worst things that can happen in a marriage and should be avoided as much as possible. This allows hurt feelings and thoughts to linger and generally exacerbates the problem.

If one spouse needs to win, let it be your mate. Do not focus on winning yourself; this is the main reason that discussions tend to become heated.

http://english.islamway.com/bindex.php?section=article&id=218

Cleanliness in islam

2010-12-28T01:43:00.000-08:00

Islam is a religion of Cleanliness.

Allah says:

(O children of Adam, take your adornment at every Masjid (mosque), and eat and drink, but do not waste: verily He does not love the wasteful.) (7:31)

It is a religion of purity. Allah says:

(Indeed, Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves. ) (2:222)

Purity is a condition for the Prayer to be regarded valid, and the Prayer is an act of worship which a Muslim performs at least five times throughout his daily routine. Islam also requires that one bathe after ejaculation or sexual intercourse, and highly encourages taking a bath before performing those types of worship which are manifest symbols of Islam, such as the Friday Prayer and the Greater and Lesser Pilgrimage to Makkah.

Allah says in the Glorious Quran:

(O you who believe! When you rise up for prayer, wash your faces, and your hands up to the elbows, and wipe your heads (with wet hands), and (wash) your feet up to the ankles. And if you are in a state of major ritual impurity (janaba), purify yourselves (by taking a bath). And if you are sick or on a journey, or one of you comes from the answering of call of nature, or you have had contact with women, and you find no water, then go to clean earth and wipe your faces and hands with some of it. Allah does not want to place you in difficulty, but He wants to purify you and to perfect His grace upon you that you may give thanks.) (Al-Maidah :6)

Islam also encourages that one wash his hands prior and subsequent to meals. The Messenger of Islam, Muhammad said:

"Food is blessed when one washes his hands before and after it." (Tirmidhi)

It encourages that one keep his mouth and teeth clean. The Messenger of Islam said:

"Had I not found it difficult for my followers, I would have ordered them to cleanse their teeth before every prayer." (Bukhari)

It encourages that one cleanse and purify those places that may become a breeding ground for germs and filth. The Messenger of Islam, The Messenger of Islam, Muhammad said:

"There are five acts which are from the innate nature with which Allah created humans: circumcision, removing the pubic hair, plucking the hair of the armpits, shortening the moustache, and clipping the nails." (Bukhari)

For sisters eyes only!

2010-11-09T10:24:00.000-08:00

In our times seeking knowledge seems to have become something only for men, women’s chores involve cooking food and producing children. This has led to the frustration of many teenage girls, specially in the west. They might have great ambitions in seeking knowledge and teaching it to others, and it is mainly for these sisters I decided to post this.

First of all people have to realise that seeking knowledge is not a glamorous thing to do, I realise that in our time it has sometimes come across as something popular to do, reading about different stories maybe on this blog or other places you think wow I want that too! But truth be told, the nitty-gritty bits or behind the scene stuff is very hard to say the least. Seeking knowledge full-time, is not something for everyone, can you really manage sitting for a few hours just repeating and memorizing or reading arabic grammar books over and over again? Some of you might think yes of course I love Islaam! But when it comes to studying Islaam a lot of people seem to be able to talk the talk without any action. Ask yourself dear sister, how much Qur’aan have you actually memorised? You might be in your late teens or early twenties, do you actually take time out and look for study circles? Be it in your local masjid or the neighbouring masjids. Many people tell themselves, if only I had a chance to study abroad I would have sat in the masjid twenty-four hours a day and studied and studied. But truth be told, if you aren’t a good student in Toronto [as an example] chances are you wont change much in Madeenah.

I do not mean to demoralise my sisters by saying this, all I wish to do is to make them realise that they have to be serious, and if you show Allah your sincerity in this then He will surely aid you. Having said that, the main issue that stands between sisters and seeking knowledge is that they do not have any mahram to travel with and seek knowledge. Or that they might have a mahram but that person would never want to travel with them to some dry humid country just for her to read some “silly” books, you can study Islaam here, they will most likely tell you. And to be quite frank there is no real way of getting around this, since it is a law put down by Allah Himself, and if you start your quest for knowledge by going against a command of Allah then there will most likely not be any blessings at all in that search. My best suggestions to young sisters, is to try to get married to a brother who share their views and is equally serious about seeking knowledge, or marry a brother who is already seeking knowledge. The other option is for you to try to convince your brother or maybe even uncle or any other mahram to help you. The next problem usually is, ok but where do I go and study? Here is a very rough list for places to go and seek knowledge inshAllah:

Saudi Arabia: This is without doubt the best place in our time to seek knowledge. It is good in that it will teach you the right Aqeedah and Manhaj and plus it has universities that give away scholarships to students. The University of Madeenah is opening up a branch for sisters soon and this will be for the wives of students providing them with an opportunity to study. The University of Makkah, Ummul Qurra already has a branch for women, which enables both husband and wife to study side by side. Then there is the new University called Nourah bint ‘Abdirahmaan, this university is for women and they accept international students aswell. One of the main conditions is that the female has a mahram residing in Riyadh.

Yemen: I would not advice sisters to travel there at the moment, since there is a big security risk with battles being fought against Shi’as etc. Also life generally is rougher there. The government usually give foreigners abit of a tough time, and ask questions etc, but if you are originally Yemeni or Somali, this is a good place since you will be able to blend in with the population easily. Places to study are many, there is the famous Dammaj which was founded by Shaykh Muqbil rahimahullah. There is also places in Macbar where you can learn the basics of Islaam and memorise Qur’aan etc. But again the situation is not stable in Yemen at the moment.

Egypt: This country is mainly good for two things, when it comes to the arabic language and memorizing Qur’aan. The Egyptians are very good in both these fields. It is also good in that it provides flexibility for people to come and study. The people in Egypt are very friendly and welcoming, and a person usually picks up the language quickly. The main places for studying are in Cairo, al-Ibaanah is a good institute which will teach you arabic and islamic subjects. There is al-Fajr institute which has grown very big recently which teaches a similar syllabus. In Cairo you will find many different institutes and it is up to you to pick which one suites you the best, all of these institutes cost money. There is a place up in the north, qortoba institute I have heard good things about it but I am not sure if they provide services for females. You can read more about them here http://www.qortoba.net/

Pakistan/India: This wouldn’t be very ideal for non Pakistanis or non Indians, since the circumstance in Pakistan has changed dramatically within the past few years. However if you happen to be Pakistani or Indian it might be something worth looking into.

Mauritania: This is really not a place for westerners to go, let alone women. Life is very tough here and students are required to be very tough and serious. To make your way there you will have to have contacts and know which Shaykhs to study underneath and which ones to avoid. These are few of the places that comes to mind, if other people have places I have over looked please feel free to add them through the comments on the blog.

by brother Aboo Thaabit, Isma’eel bin Muhammad Noor, a student at the Islamic University of Madeenah (the city of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم) Saudi Arabia.

Advice For My Sister In Islam

2010-07-12T08:56:00.000-07:00

Be proud of your religion and the religion of your ancestors. Be a good example for your sons and daughters and sincere in your belonging to this mighty nation.

Know that honor is an honor to all wise people, and that adultery is dishonorable to all nations, even if some called it freedom. Know that adultery is also done with the eyes by seeing, with the ears by listening, and with the mouth by kissing, as was mentioned in a Hadith related by Imam Muslim.

Your happiness is in being an obedient and believing daughter, a loyal and generous wife and a pious and merciful mother.

Know that prayer is the cornerstone of Islam. Fasting one day, for the sake of Allah, takes your face seventy years away from Hellfire, as the Hadith, related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim, states.

Charity is a major cause for gaining forgiveness and for repentance to be accepted.

Those women who are showing parts of their bodies to men, will not enter Paradise or smell its fragrance and are cursed, as in the Hadith related by Imam Muslim.

Hijab is an honor and protection for you. Hijab must be modest in color and not exotic, wide and thick and not revealing, different from the dress of non-Muslim women and men.

SISTERHOOD IN ISLAM

2010-07-05T23:09:00.000-07:00

Sisterhood in Islam is something very special that a sister who has come from a life as a non Muslim and embraced this beautiful religion of Islam notices immediately. Her sisters in Islam treat her in a manner that no one has ever done before, not even her family.

So what makes this relationship so special?

She Loves Them as Sisters For the Sake of Allah

It doesn't matter what your skin color is, the language you speak, the status of your family, whether you are rich or poor, in Islam we are all united like a single family. Our belief in Allah united us:

"The Believers are but a single brotherhood..." [Noble Quran 49:10]

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

"There are three things that whoever attains them will find the sweetness of faith: if Allah and His Messenger are dearer to him than anyone or anything else; if he loves a person solely for the sake of Allah; and if he would hate to return to Kufr after Allah has rescued him from it, as much as he would hate to be thrown into the Fire." [Bukhari and Muslim]

The Status of Two Who Love One Another For the Sake of Allah

There is great reward in loving one another for the sake of Allah:

"Where are those who loved one another for My glory? Today I will shade them in My shade on the Day when there is no shade but Mine." [Muslim]

Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

"A man went to visit a brother of his in another village. Allah sent an angel to wait for him on the road. When the man came along, the angel asked him, 'Where are you headed?' He said, 'I am going to visit a brother of mine who lives in this village.' The angel asked, 'Have you done him any favor (for which you are now seeking repayment)?' He said, 'No, I just love him for the sake of Allah.' The angel told him, 'I am a messenger to you from Allah, sent to tell you that He loves you as you love your brother for His sake.'" [Muslim]

And we are encouraged to tell one another, to promote a loving bond between each other:

Anas said that a man was with the Prophet (peace be upon him), when another man passed by. The first man said, "O Messenger of Allah, indeed I truly love this man." The Prophet (peace be upon him) asked him, "Have you let him know that?" He said, "No." The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, "Tell him." He caught up with him and told him, "Truly I love you for the sake of Allah," and the man said, "May Allah love you who loves me for His sake." [Abu Dawud]

Effect of Love for the Sake of Allah on the Life of a Muslim Woman

It is important that we greet one another in the proper Islamic manner:

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

"By the One in Whose hand in my soul, you will not enter Paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I not tell you of something that if you do it, you will love one another? Spread Salam amongst yourselves." [Muslim]

And when one of us is hurting, oppressed or suffering in some way, we all feel it:

"The believers, in their mutual friendship, mercy and affection, are like one body: if any part of it complains, the rest of the body will also stay awake in pain."

She Does Not Forsake or Abandon Her Sister

We don't let our differences or misunderstandings keep us apart, we work to keep our relationships strong.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

"No two people who love one another for the sake of Allah, or for the sake of Islam, will let the first minor offence of either of them come between them." [Bukhari]

He (peace be upon him) also said:

"It is not permissible for a Muslim to be estranged from his brother for more than three days, both of them turning away from one another when they meet. The better of them is the one who is first to greet the other." [Bukhari and Muslim]

And all it takes to mend that relationship is greeting your sister with "As-Salamu Alaykum" (peace be with you) a greeting of peace:

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

"It is not permissible for a man to be estranged from a believer for more than three days. If three days have passed, then he should go and give Salam to him; if he returns the Salam, then both of them will have share in the reward, and if he does not respond then the one who gave the Salam will be absolved of the sin of estrangement." [Bukhari]

We always want the best for one another and avoid harming our sister in Islam:

Our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

"Do not envy one another, do not outbid one another (in order to inflate prices), do not hate one another, do not turn away from one another, and do not enter into a transaction when others have already entered into it. O servants of Allah, be brothers. A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim. He does not oppress him, humiliate him or look down upon him. Taqwa is here" - and so saying, he pointed to his chest three times. "It is evil enough for a man to look down upon his Muslim brother. The whole of a Muslim's being is sacred to another Muslim - his blood, his wealth and his honor are inviolable." [Muslim]

And we do not bear grudges. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

"The doors of Paradise are opened on Monday and Thursday, and every servant who does not associate anything with Allah will be forgiven, except for the man who bears a grudge against his brother. It will be said, 'Wait for these two until they reconcile, wait for these two until they reconcile, wait for these two until they reconcile.'" [Muslim]

She is Tolerant & Forgiving Towards Her Sisters

Allah says in the Noble Quran:

"...[those] who restrain anger and pardon (all) men - for Allah loves those who do good." [Noble Quran 3:134]

And His Prophet (peace be upon him) explained:

"There are three sins, whoever dies free of these sins will be forgiven for anything else, if Allah wills: associating anything with Allah; practicing magic or witchcraft; and bearing resentment towards his brother." [Bukhari]

She Meets Them With a Smiling Face

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

"Do not think little of any good deed, even if it is just greeting your brother with a cheerful countenance." [Muslim]

She is Faithful & Kind Towards Them

We try our best to emulate the beautiful example of the Prophet (peace be upon him) who showed to greatest of kindness and tolerance:

Anas, his servant and constant companion, described his noble character thus:

"I served the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) for ten years, and he never said to me 'Uff! [The smallest word of contempt]. If I did something, he never said 'Why did you do that?' and if I did not do something, he never said 'Why did you not do that?'" [Bukhari and Muslim]

Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

"There is no kindness in a thing but it adds beauty to it, and there is no absence of kindness but it disfigures a thing." [Muslim]

And we behave with the best manners towards our sisters:

Anas also said:

"The Prophet (peace be upon him) never used obscene language, or uttered curses and insults. If he wanted to rebuke someone, he would say, 'What is the matter with him, may his forehead be covered with dust! '"

She Does Not Gossip About Them

We avoid back biting, slandering, gossiping about our fellow sisters in Islam:

"...Nor speak ill of each other behind their back. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, you would abhor it. But fear Allah, for Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful." [Noble Quran 49:12]

The Prophet (peace be upon him) warned Mu'adh ibn Jabal. He took hold of his tongue and said,

"Restrain this." Mu'adh said, "O Messenger of Allah, will we be held responsible for what we say?" The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "May your mother be bereft of you! Is there anything that causes people to be thrown into Hell on their faces (or he said: on their noses) but the harvest of their tongues?" [Ibn Majah]

She Avoids Arguing With Them, Making Hurtful Jokes & Breaking Promises

And we are careful to speak in a manner that will not hurt our sisters feelings:

The Prophet (peace be upon him):

"Do not argue with your brother, do not joke excessively with him, do not make a promise to him then break it." [Bukhari]

She is Generous & Honours Her Sisters

We are always keen to share what we have no matter how small it may be:

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

"Spread Salam, offer food generously, uphold the ties of kinship, stand in prayer at night when people are sleeping, and enter Paradise in peace." [Ahmad]

He (peace be upon him) also said:

"In Paradise there are rooms whose outside can be seen from the inside, and whose inside can be seen from the outside. Allah has prepared them for those who feed others generously, who are gentle in speech, who fast continuously, and who stand in prayer at night when people are sleeping." [Ahmad]

She Prays for Her Sisters in Their Absence

And when our dear sister and friend is away from us, we supplicate for her:

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

"The quickest prayer to be answered is a man's supplication for his brother in his absence." [Bukhari]

You are not a true believer until you love for your sister what you love for yourself. We love for our sister to be in Paradise as much as we love to be there ourselves, and we strive to please Allah together, side by side in this beautiful relationship called Sisterhood in Islam.

Khadejah Jones
ShareIslam.com

THE WAY TO HAPPINESS

2010-06-19T03:44:00.000-07:00

As-Salamu Alaykum (peace be upon you),
THE WAY TO HAPPINESS
Ultimately, we all want to be happy. It seems easier for some than others, and there are those who it is a perpetual struggle.
So what is happiness? And how do we achieve it?
Sources of Happiness
Different individuals and groups of people may have different ideas with regard to the best ways of achieving happiness. Some common beliefs are that the following are the means to happiness:

1. Wealth.
2. Rank and position.
3. Educational achievements (Academic and Honorary? Degrees).
4. Fame (i.e., in politics, arts, sports, science, etc.).

Happiness in Wealth

One of the biggest misconceptions is that money can buy happiness. I think there is a saying actually, money can't buy happiness but it can certainly rent it. So if it can't buy happiness, only rent it then there is no level of permanency in the happiness that is attained through wealth.

How many unhappy rich people do we hear about? What about all the stories of the people who have won lotto and ended up like prisoners in their homes from the attention they received, the gold diggers after their money, chasing them to the point they have no life? There is a story of a man that won lotto and used his money to import all his favorite exotic foods from around the globe, ended up really fat and died of a heart attack.

The Prophet (peace be upon him), as always states it best... he (peace be upon him) said:

"May he be miserable, the worshipper of the Dinar and dirham, and the worshipper of the striped silk cloak. If he is given anything, he is satisfied; but if not, he is unsatisfied". [Al-Bukhari]

Happiness in Rank & Position

Could real happiness be attained through the acquirement of high rank or position in society?

In Islam, holding any position, rank or office is first and foremost regarded as a trust and, therefore, constitutes an obligation, and a legal as well as moral responsibility. Therefore, those to be entrusted with such roles could only be citizens who are possessed of unquestionable competence, integrity and virtue. Only a righteous and competent person can shoulder responsibility and use his position or office for public welfare.

Thus, he would love doing his job because ultimately he would be blessed with joy, happiness, contentment and satisfaction? But what happens when he reaches retirement age? Where will he source his happiness then?

Hardly does a year pass by around the world without closing with the news of miserable falls, overthrows and/or assassinations of unwanted rulers, kings, emperors, premiers, presidents, etc.

Educational Achievements

Then, where is happiness? Is it in obtaining the highest level of education and in earning doctorate degrees?

It is true that Islam not only encourages but also requires man to seek knowledge and live in the light of learning. Islam is a way of life based on knowledge and not on superstition. Prophets are the sources of divine knowledge, and the first divine revelation to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) begins with the word "IQRA" meaning "READ". In that same revelation, Allah, tells mankind that He (Allah) taught man 'with the pen" and taught man "what he did not know". Much emphasis is placed in Islam on the need for excellent learning, that in the Quran, Allah teaches mankind the following supplications:

"...and say 'O my Lord, advance me in knowledge'." [Noble Quran 22:114]

In another verse of the holy Quran, Allah tells mankind: "those truly fear Allah among His servants who have knowledge." [Noble Quran 35:28]

Yet, in another verse of the Holy Quran, Allah questions mankind: "are they equal, those who know and those who do not know?" [Noble Quran 39:9]

So isn't Allah then telling us that we should be getting degrees?

No, the knowledge here is knowledge of Islam, beneficial knowledge that will make us successful in this life and the Hereafter. There are many who have attained high degrees in university only to live an unhappy or lonely life. The knowledge that Allah is recommending is that of the Quran and Sunnah, not that of the university degree.

Happiness in Fame

How much happiness do the "famous" men and women in activities enjoy?

Next time you are waiting at the checkout to pay for your shopping just look at the covers of the popular magazines and it is obvious that a life of fame is not a happy one. Divorce, drugs problems, over weight, etc these are all the headlines you will see.

"And this life of the world is only amusement and play! Verily, the home of the Hereafter is the real life if they but knew". [Noble Quran 29:64]

The messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

"Two hungry wolves sent in the midst of a flock of sheep are no more destructive to them than a man's greed for wealth and fame is to his Deen.'' [At-Tirmidhi]

Barriers to Real Happiness

1. Disbelief In Allah And Lack Of The True Faith - One of the biggest barriers to real happiness both in this world and the Hereafter is the rejection of Allah's true religion (i.e., Islam). Those who lack correct belief and stray from Divine Guidance revealed to mankind through the Universal and Last Messenger of Allah, Muhammad, will suffer from spiritual void and deprive themselves from real salvation and mercy.

"Those whom God (in His Plan) wills to guide, He opens their breast to Islam; those whom He wills to leave straying, He makes their breast close and constricted, as if they had to climb up to the skies: thus does Allah lay abomination on those who refuse to follow His code of life, that is Islam..." [Noble Quran 6:125]

2. Envy and Jealousy - In chapter 113 of the Holy Quran, we are advised to seek refuge in Allah "from the mischief of the envious one as he practices envy... "

Both envy and jealousy, when translated into action, lead to the destruction of happiness and deprive people of the good things they enjoy. The best refuge from evil is trust in Allah alone.

3. Ill-will - True believers are described in the Quran as saying when they pray to Allah:

"And leave not, in our hearts, rancor (or sense of injury) against those who have believed..." [Noble Quran 10:59]

4. Anger - Anger connotes displeasure and hostility. Therefore, it is one of the biggest threats that spoil man's happiness. Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) stressed the importance of self restraint when he advised one of his companions:

"Do not be overpowered by anger..."

5. injustice - Abu Musa Al-Ash'ari companion of Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him), related that the Prophet said [as narrated by imams Bukhari and Muslim]:

"Allah may give a wrongdoing tyrant respite, and thereafter when He punishes him, He never lets him escape." Then, he recited this Quranic Verse: "Such is the chastisement of thy Lord when He chastises communities in the midst of their wrong: grievous, indeed, and severe is His chastisement." [Noble Quran 11:102]

In another verse from the Holy Quran, it is stated:

"And how many populations did I give respite, which were given to wrongdoing, In the end I punished them. To Me is the destination (of all)." [Noble Quran 22:48]

6. Fear of Worldly Power - Fear of other than Allah. Allah says in the Quran:

"It is only the Satan that suggests to you the fear of his votaries: be you not afraid of them, but fear me, if you are true believers. [Noble Quran 3:175]

7. Suspicion - Allah states:

"O ye who believe! Shun suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin..." [Noble Quran 49:12]

Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) also says:

"Shun suspicion, because suspicion is the biggest lie." [Bukhari and Muslim]

8. Arrogance - An arrogant person leads a life of misery even though he treats other people rudely and boastfully without due regard to established norms of moral conduct. He oppresses them or turns his cheek in scorn toward them but he is definitely haunted with guilty conscience which makes his life miserable:

"Turn not thy cheek in scorn toward folk, nor walk with pertness in the land. Lo! Allah loveth not each braggart boaster." [Noble Quran 31:I8]

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) gave his advice in this regard when he said:

"On the Day of Judgment Allah will not look towards him who trails his lower garment out of pride" [Bukhari and Muslim]

9. Other such as - devotion to other than Allah, pessimism, sinful and criminal behavior, alcohol and Drug Addiction

On the Way to Happy Life

1. Sound Belief - Belief in Allah and in His perfect attributes would deeply influence the Muslim's character and his whole outlook on life. It brings him to acquire good qualities and aim for human perfection. This will undoubtedly achieve, for both the individual and the society, a life of ideal values and collective happiness.

2. Worship and Devotion to Allah

"Not for (idle) sport did We create the heavens and the earth and all that is between" [Noble Quran 21:16]

So creation is not for idle sport or play, Allah has a serious purpose behind it. What is it? Allah has revealed to us His purpose:

"I have only created Jinns (i.e., genies) and men, that they may serve Me!" [Noble Quran 51:56]

Obedience and worship of Allah are a major and comprehensive source of contentment and happiness for man. On the personal level, it gives man the feeling that he is close to Allah and such nearness to his Lord, consequently, provides him with guidance, wisdom, strength, confidence, steadfastness, security, joy and satisfaction. The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said:

"Happiness, all happiness, is long life (full) of obedience to Allah." [Quda'i and Daylami]

3. Goodness and Kindness to Others - This emanates from the very essence of faith.

Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) said:

"All creatures are dependants of Allah, and the most favored among them by Allah is the one who is most helpful to His dependants." [Tabarani, Abu Na'im and Bayhaqi]

Thus, active faith turns man into a mercy to himself and to others.

4. Renunciation of Too Long Term Hopes and Grieves of the Past - hanging onto a past that cannot be returned and aspiring to a future that may not come only leads to discontentment. Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said,

"Whosoever begins the day feeling family security and good health; and possessing provision for his day is as though he possessed the whole world.'' [At-Tirmidhi].

Being content with what we have today, embarking on utilizing the day that we have and being grateful to Allah, all these are lead to happiness.

5. In times of discontentment - the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him ) in the following words:

"Look at those inferior to you, and do not look at those superior to you. Thereby, you would be able to appreciate better the benevolence of Allah bestowed upon you." [Bukhari and Muslim]

gives us the best advise for these times.

6. Building of better understanding - seeking knowledge of Islam and removing misconceptions and superstitions deliver man from ignorance, illusions and baseless worries that spoil his tranquility and happiness.

7. One important step on the way to happiness is - to work towards harmony within oneself and with the outward world: in the family, at school, in the office, in society and more generally, in humanity. The Prophet (peace be upon him) advised us that there is a time for this and a time for that and that we are a people of moderation.

8. Access to happiness can also be obtained - by making ever aspect of your life lawful. Eat what is lawful, make your home and work environment lawful.

"Eat of the things which Allah hath provided for you, lawful and good; but fear Allah, in Whom you believe." [Noble Quran 5:88]

9. Stability of the human Personality - Be moderate in all that you do

"And those, who, when they spend, are neither extravagant nor niggardly, but hold a medium (way) between those (extremes).'' [Noble Quran 25:67]

10. Repentance purifies - rectify your mistakes with repentance rather than dwell on them and feel badly

"O ye Believers! Turn ye all together toward Allah, that ye may attain Bliss." [Noble Quran 24:31].

11. Learning and Pursuit - Prophet Muhammad (Peace and blessing be upon him) stressed the importance of the pursuit of knowledge as a way to eternal happiness.

"If a person follows a path for acquiring knowledge Allah will make easy the passage to paradise for hint" [Muslim]

Pursuit of knowledge provides man with a feeling of enjoyment and pleasure If man enjoys having delicious meals for his body, he would also enjoy more delicious meals (of knowledge) for his mind and soul.

12. To form a happy social life - Choosing spouse, friends and companions wisely.

13. Strong will - Ability to persist through the challenges and hurdles of life.

Conclusion

One of the best ways to have a good life is strong Iman and good deeds, Allah the Most High said:

"Whoever works righteousness, man or woman, and is true believer, verily to him will We give a life that is good and pure, and We will bestow on such their reward according to the best of their actions." [Noble Quran 16:94]

This is because true believers in Allah, who have sound belief that gives rise to righteous deeds, and mends the heart and corrects the human behavior, and makes good both this world and the Hereafter. These people know how to deal with situations of happiness and joy and situations of anxiety, sorrow and grief.

Khadejah Jones
Share Islam Team
ShareIslam.com

- Making the Quran your reference point -

2010-06-15T23:17:00.000-07:00

An elderly Arab lady was sitting at the trunk of a tree, on the way to Haj. Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA) happened to pass that way. He was also heading for Baitullah, for Hajj, and to the Sacred tomb of the Holy Prophet (Sallallaahu -layhi Wasallam). Seeing this lady very disturbed and in a state of despair, (distressed) he spoke to her. The discussion is recorded as follows: Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA): Assalamu Alaykum wa RahmatullahThe lady: The word from a merciful Lord is Peace (Surah 36 Aayat 58).She meant that the reply of salaam is from Allah, Most High, Himself.

She meant that the reply of salaam is from Allah, Most High, Himself.She said further: Those whom Allah sendeth astray, there is no guide for them. (Surah 7 Aayat 186). She meant that she has lost her way.

Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA): Where are you coming from?The lady: Glorified be He who carried His servant by night from the Musjid-e-Aqsa (invioble place of worship) to the Musjid-e-Haraam(Far distant place of worship) (Surah17 Aayat1). She meant that she had come from Musjid-e-Aqsa.

Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA): How long are you in this place?The lady: For three nights (Surah 19 Aayat10).

Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA): What arrangements are made for your food?The lady: And who (Allah) feedeth me and watereth me (Surah 26 Aayat 79). She meant that somehow or the other, her food is provided to her by Allah.

Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA): Is there any water for Wudhu?The lady: And ye find not water, then go to high clean soil and (make tayammum) rub your faces and hands. (therewith) (Surah 4 Aayat 43).She meant that she makes tayammum, due to not finding water.

Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA): Here is some food. Partake of it.The lady: Strictly observe the fast till nightfall (Surah 2 Aayat 187).She indicated that she is fasting.

Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA): This is not the month of Ramadaan.The lady: And he who does good of his own accord (for him) lo! Allah is responsive, aware. (Surah 2 Aayat158) Meaning that I have observed an optional (nafl) fast.

Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA): It is permitted to break the fast when in a journey.The lady: And that ye fast is better for you, if you did but know. (Surah 2 Aayat 184).

Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA): Speak like how I speak.The lady: He (man) uttereth no word but there is with him an observer ready (Surah 50 Aayat 18). She meant that since every word of a person is observed and recorded, she is taking precaution by speaking only in the words of the Holy Quran.

Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA): Which clan do you belong to?The lady: Follow not that whereof thou hast no knowledge, lo! The hearing and the sight and heart of each of these it will be asked (Surah 17 Aayat36). She meant those things that you have no knowledge of, nor do they concern you, you are wasting your strength (senses) byenquiring about them.

Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA): Forgive me. I have certainly made a mistake.The lady: Have no fear this day. May Allah forgive you (Surah 12 Aayat 92)

Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA): Would you like to travel on my camel and meet your caravan?The lady: And whatsoever good ye do Allah knoweth it (Surah 2 Aayat 197). Meaning that if you will do this good deeds towards me, Allah will recompense you for it.

Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA): Well, then you may mount it.Saying this he made the camel to sit down.The lady: Tell the believing men (when confronted by women) to lower their gaze. (Surah 24 Aayat 30).

Hadhrat Abdullah understood and (turned) looked away. While she was mounting, the camel jerked and her clothes got strangled in the saddle (dorsers) and she proclaimed: whatever of misfortune striketh you, it is what your hands have earned. (Surah 42 Aayat 30). In other words she was drawing Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mubarak's (RA) attention towards thismishap. Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA) understood and he tied the legs of the camel and he straightened the straps of the saddle (or dorser).She applauded him for his proficiency and capability by saying And we made Sulaiman to understand (Surah 21 Aayat 79). When the journey was about to begin, the lady recited the Aayats which are read when undertaking a journey Glorified be he who hath subdued these unto us, and we were not capable (of subduing them). And lo, unto our Lord we are returning. (Surah 43 Aayat 13). Hadhrat Abdullh bin Mubarak (RA) held the bridle (or nose string) of the camel. He began to hum the (Huddi) famous Arabic song for travelling, and he started walking very fast.The lady: Be modest in thy bearing and subdue thy voice (Surah 31 Aayat 19). Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA) understood. He began walking slower and he lowered his voice.The lady: Recite of the Quran that which is easy for you. She meant that instead of humming the Huddi, he should rather recite the Holy Quran. Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA) began reciting the Holy Quran.The lady became very pleased and said but none remember (accept advice) except men of understanding (Surah 2 Aayat 269). After reciting the Holy Quran for a while, Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA) asked (the lady if she had a husband) (if he was alive) O Aunt, have have you a husband? (meaning is he living) The lady: O you who believe, ask not of things which if they were made known unto you, would trouble you (Surah 5 Aayat 101). She meant that no questions should be asked regarding this matter which indicated that her husband has most probably passed away.

Finally they (caught up) met the caravan. Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA): Do you have any son or relative (friend) in this caravan who has connection (contact) with you?The lady: Wealth and children are an ornament of life of the world (Surah 18 Aayat 46). She meant that her sons were with this caravan and he has provisions with him.

Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA): What work are your sons doing for the caravan? (Hadhrat Abdullah's object for asking was to make it easy for him to recognise her son).The lady: And landmarks, and by the star they find a way (Surah 16 Aayat 16). She meant that he is a guide for the caravan.

Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA): Can you tell me their name?The lady: Allah chose Ibrahim as (for) a friend (Surah 4 Aayat 125). And Allah spoke directly unto Moosa (Surah 19 Aayat 12). By reciting these Aayats the lady informed him that her sons names were Yahya, Ibrahim and Moosa. Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA) called out these names in the caravan and immediately three young people came forward.The lady: (addressing her children) Now send one of you with this your silver coin unto the city. And let him see what food is purest there and bring you a supply thereof (Sura 18 Aayat 19) In other words she instructed them to feed Hadhrat Abdullah (RA).When the food was brought, she told Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA):Eat and drink at ease for that which ye sent on before you in the past days. (Surah 69 Aayat 24), and with this Aayat she recited another Aayat, the object of which was to convey her gratefulness to him for his good conduct and courtesy. The Aayat was: Is the reward of goodness aught save goodness? (Surah 55 Aayat 60). Their conversation terminated on this Aayat. The lady's son informed Hadhrat Abdullah bin Mubarak (RA) that his mother has been speaking in this manner, i.e. using only the Aayats of the Holy Quran in her speech, for the last 40 years

http://www.lutonmuslims.co.uk/Pearls.htm

- Temporary Beauty -

2010-06-15T22:31:00.000-07:00

Once Malik ibn Dinar(rh) was passing through the streets of Basra, where he happened to see a female servant walking with the kind of pomp and show generally displayed by the maidservants of kings. Upon witnessing the manner of her walking Hazrat Malik called her and said,: "O handmaid, would your master like to sell you?" She was really surprised to hear this and said, "What? Repeat it again." Hazrat Malik did accordingly, at which she said, "Would a beggar like you be able to purchase me if the master agreed to sell at all?" He replied in the affirmative, adding that he could purchase a better one than her. On hearing this she laughed and ordered the servants to take the beggar along with them (just as an amusement for the master). On reaching home she narrated the event to her master, who laughed boisterously and ordered Hazrat Malik to be brought before him. When Hazrat Malik was brought forward, the master was over-awed and asked, "What do you want?" In reply, he advised him to sell his handmaid to him. The master asked, "Can you pay her price?" Hazrat Malik replied, "For me her price is no more than two stones of dates." On hearing this the whole audience began to laugh. The master asked, "What prompted you to fix this price for her?" He replied that there were many shortcomings in her. Upon the master's request Hazrat Malik enumerated them thus:

'If she does not apply perfume her body emits a foul smell. If she does not clean her teeth they begin to putrefy. If she does not comb her hair it becomes infested with lice. On becoming a bit older she would appear like an old woman not worthy to be loved. She menstruates. She makes water and relieves herself. In other words she emits all sorts of filth (spittle, mucus, saliva). She suffers from agonies and hardships. Being greedy, she shows her love to you merely for her self interests and material benefits. Today, if any loss is incurred by her due to you, the whole edifice of her love would crumble down in no time. She is based on falsehood. As soon as you breathe your last, she will sit by the side of another person and sing of her permanent and everlasting love for him, in the same way as she did for you.

In contrast, I have a handmaid a thousand times better than your handmaid. Her price is very little. She is made of camphor's essence. She has been fashioned out of musk and saffron. She is covered by pearls and light. If her spittle is cast in salty water, it will become sweet. Should she speak to a dead man, he would be revived. If her wrist is shown to the sun, it will suffer darkness and eclipse. If she visits a place of darkness, it will be illuminated. If she happens to appear in the world with all her elegance, the whole world will become fragrant. She is brought up in the gardens of musk and saffron. She has played amongst the branches of ruby and coral. Her abode is a place of great blessings. She drinks water from Tasnim (a fountain in paradise). She never backs out of her word. Her love is everlasting." Hazrat Malik (rh) then asked the master to let him know which handmaid is more beneficial to him. All said unanimously that the handmaid described by Hazrat Malik (rh) was far more valuable. Then Hazrat Malik said, "Every one can afford to buy her at any time and in every age. The master set the maidservant free, and both of them bade farewell to the worldly pleasures and dedicated themselves to worship of Allah (SWT).

Reference: http://www.lutonmuslims.co.uk/Pearls.htm

Women in Dawah

2010-06-13T05:47:00.000-07:00

Abdul Lateef M. Al-Hassan and Sumayyah Bint Joan
al-Jumu'ah Magazine

From the very beginning, women have played vital roles in the propagation of the fundamental truths of Islamic da'wah. From the sacrifices of Sumayyah, to the collected Ahadeeth of Aisha, women have been instrumental in the flourishing and spreading of this deen. Unfortunately during these times, the Islamic revival suffers from weaknesses in its properly qualified personnel, which limits its spreading and restricts the da'wah work to an elitist group of activists, with finite and limited efforts of da'wah and tarbiyah being focused on women.

Da'wah amongst women deserves, and should get, far more attention than it does. So far, except in a few instances, women have been distanced from the field of da'wah work. If we look at the reality, and the situation of Islamic da'wah work, and the position of women in it today, we can easily find the following problems:

1- Deficiency in da'wah capabilities among and by women.

2- The ill use of existing limited-resources in combination with a lack of personal initiative on the part of women.

3- A neglect or omission of women's issues in the planning of Islamic da'wah.

4- Absence of strong tarbiyah and the lack of fundamental Islamic knowledge in the da'iyat (female callers) in the field of da'wah. Only a few of the wives and daughters of dou'at (male callers) have any worthwhile Islamic knowledge.

5- Most women do not possess a proper understanding the role of da'wah made incumbent on their husbands. Because of this, they may not understand the importance of time given to projects outside the home, which in turn may, become a source of tension within the home.

6- The level of general Islamic knowledge among most women is low.

7- Women's da'wah programs, as well as overall da'wah programs and institutions are rare, and not well organized.

ROOTS of the PROBLEM

Many obstacles and restraints have been the causes behind the weakness and neglect of da'wah work amongst women. One they have been recognized and analyzed, viable solutions can be sought and implemented.

One major reason, is that many men are not convinced about the importance of women's role and responsibilities in the field of da'wah. The Qur'anic verse "...remain at your homes..." [33:33] has been misinterpreted by many, and so has the right of stewardship or Qawama. In many instances we see men objecting to women's participation in da'wah and thus preventing them from fulfilling their role toward their fellow Muslims and to the larger society in general. Spreading Islam has been made incumbent on all Muslims, men and women.

"It is vital that husbands encourage their wives to participate in da'wah work," said Dr. Aisha Hamdan, Director of the Islamic Education Foundation, based in Minneapolis, Minnesota. She has a Ph. D. in Clinical Psychology with a specialty in child and family issues. She teaches at a private university in the Twin Cities. The IEF is a two-year-old organization, with one of its goals being, to increase the level of awareness and to provide training in giving da'wah, amongst Muslim women and men. "They should encourage them to spread the message of this deen, perhaps by taking them along when they go out, and by instructing them on the proper ways of giving presentations about Islam."

A more particular reason is the absence or confusion of priorities in the minds of dou'at. Many of them have been overwhelmed and distracted by the state of the Ummah, even to the extent of ignoring to give proper attention to their homes and families. Their energies having been exhausted in the work outside the home, leaving them with nothing left for their families. This imbalance hurts not only the families, but also the community as a whole.

The level of women's education and awareness of their position and responsibility plays an important role. As education and awareness decline, women become disinterested, their level of giving and sense of sacrifice weakens. "Unfortunately, not a lot of Muslim women feel that they know enough about Islam to share it with others. They need to realize that it is their responsibility to obtain that knowledge and then share it with others. Many women also feel uncomfortable presenting to groups of people due to various reasons." Dr. Hamdan said. "This is why we are conducting training sessions here, about how to conduct da'wah. We are committed to trying to arm women with the necessary skills, that will give them the confidence to take up this very important, and often neglected role in their lives as Muslims."

Indulgence in luxuries, even if they are halal things, usually force women to devote more time to them and less time to doing da'wah. This also happens when they find it difficult to balance rights with duties. Sometimes women lose perspective, forgetting that the work inside the home is the core of their mission. By neglecting this role, or when they fail to arrange their priorities, and get tied to a job that distracts them, they ultimately fail at fulfilling their da'wah roles both inside and outside the home. "For many women, their jobs as wife, mother, cook, and teacher, inside their homes, are so time consuming, that the main barrier to engaging in da'wah work is oftentimes, a lack of time itself," said Dr. Hamdan. "This is why it is so important for husbands to be supportive to their wives in fulfilling their obligations both within and outside the home."

Another unfortunate reality is that most da'wah organizations have failed to absorb and utilize the energies of women, and have also failed to adjust their plans and programs in a way that would incorporate women as core assets in their da'wah work.

The media, and many other elements of the promiscuous society we live in, have had major impacts on the psyche of Muslim women. This psychic crippling has kept many women away from their mission and distorted the image of Islam in the minds of most of them.

Paradise Is At the Feet of Mothers

2010-06-10T06:33:00.001-07:00

A man once consulted the Prophet Muhammad about taking part in a military campaign. The Prophet asked the man if his mother was still living. When told that she was alive, the Prophet said: "(Then) stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet." (Al-Tirmidhi)

On another occasion, the Prophet said: "God has forbidden for you to be undutiful to your mothers." (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

One of the things I have always appreciated about my adopted faith is not only its emphasis on maintaining the bonds of kinship, but also the high regard in which women, particularly mothers, are held. The Quran, Islam's revealed text, states: "And revere the wombs that bore you, for God is ever watchful over you." (4:1)

It should be obvious that our parents deserve our utmost respect and devotion - second only to God. Speaking in the Quran, God ays: "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents; to Me is thy final Goal." (31:14)

The fact that God has mentioned parents in the same verse as Himself shows the extent to which we should strive in our efforts to serve the mothers and fathers who sacrificed so much for us. Doing so will help us to become better people.

In that same verse, God says: "We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him."

In other words, the debt we owe to our mothers is magnified due to the difficult nature of pregnancy - not to mention the nurturing and attention paid to us in infancy.

Another narration, or "Hadith," from the life of the Prophet Muhammad again shows us just how much we owe to our mothers.

A man once asked the Prophet to whom he should show the most kindness. The Prophet replied: "Your mother, next your mother, next your mother, and then your father." (Sunan of Abu-Dawood) In other words, we must treat our mothers in a manner befitting their exalted position - and, again, revere the wombs that bore us.

The Arabic word for womb is "rahem." Rahem is derived from the word for mercy. In Islamic tradition, one of God's 99 names is "Al-Raheem," or "the Most Merciful."

There exists, therefore, a unique connection between God and the womb. Through the womb, we get a glimpse of the Almighty's qualities and attributes. It nurtures, feeds and shelters us in the early stages of life. The womb can be viewed as one manifestation of divinity in the world.

One cannot help but make the parallel between a Loving God and a compassionate Mother. Interestingly, the Quran does not portray God as exclusively male or female. As a matter of fact, by revering our mothers, we are paying respect to God.

Each of us should appreciate what we have in our mothers. They are our teachers and our role models. Every day with them is an opportunity to grow as a person. Every day away from them is a missed opportunity.

I lost my own mother to breast cancer on April 19, 2003. Though the pain of losing her is still with me and her memory lives on in my siblings and me, I sometimes worry that I might forget what a blessing she was for me.

For me, Islam is the best reminder of my mother's presence. With daily encouragement from the Quran and the living example of the Prophet Muhammad, I know I will always keep her memory close to my heart. She is my rahem, my connection to the divine. On this Mother's Day, I am grateful for the occasion to reflect on that.

Obedience to the Husband

2010-06-05T05:21:00.000-07:00

Islam has given woman rights and imposed on her some obligations. One of the most significant rights is that of her husband over her. The husband is your Paradise or your Hellfire; that is, if you obey him you will enter Paradise, and if you disobey him you will enter Hellfire. The following are Ahaadith which order a woman to obey her husband:

The Prophet sallaallaahu alayhi wa sallaam said:

“When a woman observes her five obligatory prayers, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any gate of Paradise she wishes.”

Reported by Ibn Hibban, al-Bazzaar, Imam Ahmed Ibn Hanbal, at-Tabarani and al-Baani.

The Prophet sallaallaahu alayhi wa sallaam said:

“If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter Paradise.”

Reported by at-Tirmidhi.

The Prophet sallaallaahu alayhi wa sallaam said:

“If a husband calls his wife to his bed (to have sexual relations) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the Angels will curse her till morning.”

The Prophet sallaallaahu alayhi wa sallaam said:

“If I were to order anyone to prostrate himself before another, I should order a woman to prostrate herself before her husband.”

Reported by at-Tirmidhi and Ibn Hibban.

When the Prophet sallaallaahu alayhi wa sallaam was asked which woman was best he replied,

“The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves.”

Reported by at-Tirmidhi, an-Nasa’i’ and al-Bayhaqi.

INSTIGATE LOVE TO ALLAH

2010-06-04T07:19:00.000-07:00

All praise is due to Allah alone, who perfectly controls everything. May He send salutations and exalt the mention of the Warner and the Bringer of Glad Tidings - our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), his family and all his companions.

One of the attributes of Allah is that He Loves His believing slaves in a fashion which befits His Majesty and Might; His slaves in turn love Him more than their wealth, children and their own selves.

Allah says what means:

"Allah will bring a people whom He will love and they will love Him." (Al- Ma'idah:54)

It is mutual love between the Lord and His slaves:

"And of mankind are some who take (for worship) others besides Allah as rivals (to Allah). They love them as they love Allah. But those who believe, love Allah more (than anything else)." (Al-Baqarah: 165)

The Ruling on Loving Allah

Loving Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him) more than we love our family, our possessions and anything else in this world is a part of being a true believer in Islam.

Anas narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

"I swear by The One in Whose Hands is my soul, none of you will be a complete believer until I am dearer to him than his father, his son, and all of mankind." (Bukhari)

Loving Allah is a Sign of Strong Belief

The Prophet (peace be upon him) informed us that it is a quality of belief and a sign of enjoying the sweetness of faith is realized when the love of Allah and His Messenger is greater than that of anyone or anything else. Anas Ibn Malik narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

"One who attains the following three things will taste the sweetness of faith: To make Allah and His Messenger more beloved to himself than anything else; to love a person for no other reason except for the sake of Allah; and to hate to return to disbelief just as much as he would hate to be thrown into fire." (Bukhari & Muslim)

Loving Allah is Following the Way of the Prophet (peace be upon him)

Allah says (what means):

"Say (O Muhammad): 'If you (really) love Allah, then follow me, Allah will love you and forgive you your sins.'" (Al 'Imran:31)

How much do we truly follow the Prophet (peace be upon him)? Where are we when it comes to following his Sunnah in our worship, transactions and manners? Where are we when it comes to following his Sunnah in our supplications, remembrance of Allah, recitation of the Quran, seeking the assistance of Allah, relying on Him and taking refuge in Him? Where are we when it comes to following his Sunnah by being kind to our friends, neighbor and parents, and when it comes to being generous to guests and visiting the sick? Where are we when it comes to following his Sunnah in our etiquettes, humility, mercy, leniency and forgiveness? Where are we when it comes to following his Sunnah in bravery, wisdom and Jihad against the enemies of Allah everywhere?

The Qualities of Those Whom Allah Loves

To do good: "And do good. Truly, Allah loves the good-doers." (Al-Baqarah:195)

To repent and purify themselves: "Truly, Allah loves those who turn unto Him in repentance and loves those who purify themselves." (Al-Baqarah:222)

To be are pious: "Yes, whoever fulfils his pledge and fears Allah much; verily, then Allah loves those who are the pious." (Al 'Imran:76)

To be patient: "But they never lost heart for that which did befall them in Allah's way, nor did they weaken nor degrade themselves. And Allah loves the patient." (Al 'Imran:146)

To rely on Allah: "Then when you have taken a decision, rely on Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who rely on Him." (Al 'Imran: 159)

To be just: "And if you judge, judge with justice between them. Verily, Allah loves those who act justly." (Al-Ma'idah:42)

To be sincere in Jihad: "Verily Allah loves those who fight in His Cause in rows (ranks) as if they were a solid structure." (As-Saff:4)

Beware of Having The Following Qualities

Allah has described in His Book the qualities that we must avoid if we want to one of His believing servants that He loves:

Disbelief: "But if they turn away, then Allah does not like the disbelievers." (Al 'Imran:32)

Transgression: "And fight in the way of Allah those who fight you, but transgress not the limits. Truly, Allah likes not the transgressors." (Al-Baqarah:190)

Mischief-making: "And they (ever) strive to make mischief on the earth. And Allah does not like the mischief-makers." (Al- Ma'idah:64)

Oppression: "But whoever forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is with Allah. Verily, He likes not the oppressors." (Ash-Shoora:40)

Pride and boastfulness: "Verily Allah does not like such as are proud and boastful." (An-Nisa':36)

Betrayal: "And argue not on behalf of those who deceive themselves. Verily, Allah does not like anyone who is a betrayer, sinner." (An-Nisa': 107).

Publicly uttering evil: "Allah does not like that the evil should be uttered in public except by him who has been wronged." (An-Nisa':148)

Extravagance: "Eat and drink but waste not by extravagance, certainly He (Allah) likes not those who waste by extravagance." (Al-A'raf:31)

Taking pride and being ungrateful: "Remember when his people said to him: Do not exult (with riches, being ungrateful to Allah). Verily, Allah likes not those who exult (with riches, being ungrateful to Allah)." (Al- Qasas:76)

How to Earn Allah's Love

The true description of attaining Allah's love comes from a Qudsi Hadith,
Abu Hurairah narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said on behalf of his Lord:

"I will declare war against him who shows hostility to a pious worshiper of mine. And my servant never comes closer to Me by virtue of anything more than that which I have made compulsory upon him, and my slave continues to draw closer to me by performing optional good deeds until I love him, and if I were to love him I become the hearing by which he hears, the eyesight by which he sees, the hand by which he strikes and the legs by which he walks." (Bukhari & Muslim)

Things Which Instigate Allah's Love

Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allah have mercy upon him, mentioned some examples of things which instigate the love of Allah:

1. Reciting the Quran with attentiveness and pondering over its meanings.

2. Performing optional acts of worship after fulfilling the obligatory ones.

3. Always remembering Allah in the heart, by the tongue and deeds, because one will benefit proportional to the amount that he remembers Allah.

4. Favoring His love over any other love, particularly when your desires become strong.

5. Striving hard to reach that which He loves.

6. Learning and pondering over His qualities and attributes, because the one who learns and ponders over the qualities and attributes of Allah will certainly love Him due to this.

7. Thinking about His apparent and concealed favors and kindness.

8. Supplicating and appealing to Him during the last third of every night, reciting His Book, standing with full servitude before Him and begging for His forgiveness.

9. Being around righteous people who sincerely love Allah and learning the best of what they say, just as one would pick the best fruit from a tree. Also, one should not speak unless one is certain that this is the correct thing to do and that one will benefit by this.

10. Refraining from anything which might become an obstacle between oneself and Allah.

All these can be achieved by being willing to perform them and having insight, which can only happen after the help of Allah.

Khadejah Jones
Share Islam Team
ShareIslam.com

Ingredients of a Muslimah

2010-05-21T10:30:00.000-07:00

What makes up a Muslimah?
Modesty - A Muslim woman is always modest in her appearance and in every way she carries herself. She does not need to attract attention by sprucing up her her attire, neither does she need to jingle her bracelets. She does not need to laugh out loudly or dance around for others to notice her. Attention that is paid to her is through her intellect, her character, her wit and her
charm.

Uniqueness - She is proud of who she is and needs not to live up to expectations of others. She needs not beautify herself to please another; she needs not join social rings that invite the "in" club; she needs not indulge in gossip or slave over what is hot and what is not. She is herself, and she is proud to be herself - she does not mind standing out from the crowd in her own unique special way, in which she pleases Allah, and Allah alone.

Self-sacrifice - There is nothing more important than tending to others. They could be brothers and sisters in a war-torn country; orphans living down the street; her spouse and her babies; her parents and her neighbours. The self-sacrificing Muslimah always lends a hand. She may be cooking for her parents, organising a charity run, feeding her children, writing for a Muslim magazine. She sees her place in the world as a person who is there to make a difference.

Love - She is the all-time lover. She loves and hates for the sake of Allah - loving all that is clean and pure; beautiful and pious; she loves all that is good and anything that will help her be a better person. She loves her family and her spouse; her friends and her neighbours; her brothers and sisters of the Islamic faith and brothers and sisters of other faith. She loves her children, and mostly, she loves herself for she is a gift to herself from her Creator.

Imaan - Her imaan or her faith defines her. Because she submits to Allah, when she is happy, she praises Him, when she is in need, she prays for His help. Her unshakeable faith helps her through difficult times and reminds her of herself during happy times.

Meaningfullness - Idleness is her enemy. Laziness is her nemesis. The Muslimah's life is full of meaning. Everything she does, she has already understood that it is for a certain good. She moves forwards, never backwards. She leaps for opportunities and reaches out to the sky for stars and cloud fluff... all for a reason. She does not dwell in shallowness, neither does she indulge in ignorance. She always moves forwards, full of meaning.

Assurance - Or should I say self-assured? The true Muslimah is confident in the way she carries herself. Mostly because she does not have to feel belittled by those who prey on vulnerability. She does not need to answer to anyone but Allah and as long as he is not displeased with her, she has nothing to worry about! She looks beyond the superficial and all that is material... she looks to the afterlife and she is assured that everything she does works towards eternal happiness.

Humility - A Muslimah displays humility at all times. She is never arrogant or condescending upon others. She admits when she makes mistakes and corrects others with care and tact. She i a student regardless of her age and position and is always willing to learn something new. The vast knowledge Allah has displays, humbles her and no matter what her achievements are, she thanks Allah. In prayer, she demostrates humility when she places her forehead on the ground in full prostration to her Lord.

How they lived

2010-05-17T13:11:00.000-07:00

From the lives of our pious predecessors.

It is reported that some people asked Ali Bin Abu Talib (may Allah be pleased with him) to describe this worldly life. He said: “Do you want a long description or a brief one?” They replied, “A brief one.” He said, “Its Halaal things (lead to) accounts being taken from you, and its Haraam things (lead to the) Fire.”

-Ibn Abi Al-Dunya, Dham

Al-Dunya, article 17

The Muslim Woman and her home

2010-05-14T04:50:00.001-07:00

What does the home represent to each one of us? Isn't it not the place where one eats, rests, and enjoys the company of his family members? If we think about those who are homeless, or living in shelters, or as refuges scattered in temporary places, then we will realize the blessings of our home.There are many motives for the believer to put their homes in order:

1. Protecting oneself and the family from the fire of Hell, and keeping them safe from the Allah's punishment.

2. The great responsibility borne by the head of the household on the day of judgment.

3. The home is a safe haven to protect us from evils and keep one's own evils from people, it is a refuge prescribed by Islam at times of fitnah (tribulation).

4. The home shares a big part of the human life, and therefore maintaining a healthy home provides a good environment to spend the time in the worship of Allah, and refraining from wrongdoing.

5. The home is an essential part of building the strong blocks for the Muslim society.

Following are tips to help you revive and strengthen your Muslim home:

Make Your Home a Place For the Remembrance of Allah

Revive your homes with all kinds of Dhikr. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

"The likeness of a house in which Allah is remembered and the house in which Allah is not remembered is that of the living and the dead, respectively."

We must make our homes places where Allah is remembered in all kinds of ways, whether in our hearts, verbally, during prayer, by reading Quran, by discussing Islamic issues, or by reading different kinds of Islamic books.

Help Your Family Increase Their Faith

Encourage your house members to pray, fast, give charity as means of increasing faith.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

"May Allah have mercy on a man who gets up at night and prays, then he wakes up his wife to pray, and if she refuses he throws water in her face." (Ahmad and Abu Dawud)

Have a box at home for donations to the poor and needy: whatever is put in the box belongs to them, because it is their vessel in the Muslim home.

If the family members see an example among them fasting on al-Ayyam al-Bid (the 13th, 14th and 15th of each Hijri month), Mondays and Thursdays, Tasu'a' and 'Ashura' (the 9th and 10th of Muharram), 'Arafah, and frequently in Muharram and Sha'ban, this will be a motive for them to do likewise.

Learn Supplications Related to Home

The messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

"When any one of you enters his home and mentions the Name of Allah when he enters and when he eats, the Shaytan says: 'You have no place to stay and nothing to eat here.' If he enters and does not mention the name of Allah when he enters, [the Shaytan] says, 'You have a place to stay.' If he does not mention the name of Allah when he eats, [the Shaytan says], 'You have a place to stay and something to eat.'". (Ahmad)

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) also said:

"If a man goes out of his house and says, 'Bismillah, Tawakkaltu 'Ala Allah, La Hawla Wa La Quwwata Illa Billah (In the name of Allah, I put my trust in Allah, there is no help and no strength except in Allah),' it will be said to him, 'This will take care of you, you are guided, you have what you need and you are protected.' The Shaytan will stay away from him, and another Shaytan will say to him, 'What can you do with a man who is guided, provided for and protected?'" (Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi)

'A'ishah said:
"When the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) entered his house, the first thing he would do was use Siwak." (Muslim)

Continuously Recite Surah Al-Baqarah to Ward Off Shaytan

Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

"Do not make your houses into graves. The Shaytan flees from a house in which Surat al- Baqarah is recited." (Muslim)

Concerning the virtues of the last two Ayat of this Surah, and the effect of reciting them in one's house, he (peace be upon him) said:

"Allah wrote a document two thousand years before He created the heavens and the earth, which is kept near the Throne, and He revealed two Ayat of it with which He concluded Surat al-Baqarah. If they are recited in a house for three consecutive nights, the Shaytan will not approach it." (Ahmad)

Teach Your Family

Allah says:
"O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones..."

Allocate some time for the family, and even for others such as relatives, to hold a study-circle at home and encourage them to come regularly, so that it will be an ongoing commitment for you and them.

Build Your Islamic Library

It does not have to be extensive; what matters is choosing good books, putting them in a place where they are readily accessible, and encouraging family members to read them.

Include books of varying levels, so that old and young, men and women can all use them.

Also have books for giving to guests, children's friends and family visitors, but try to get books that are attractively presented, edited properly and with the sources and classification of the Hadiths properly given.

One way in which you can help family members find a book when they want it is to organize the books according to subject, Tafsir, Hadith, Fiqh ..etc.

One of the family members could also compile alphabetical or subject indexes of the library, to make it easier to look for books.

Consult and seek advice from those who have experience in the field of books.
Whomever Allah wishes good for, He helps him to understand His religion.

Have a Home Audio Library

Having a cassette player in every home may be used for good or for evil.

How can we use it in a manner that is pleasing to Allah? Having a home audio library containing good Islamic tapes by scholars who are striving to raise the awareness of the Ummah, establish proof and denounce evil is very important for establishing individual personalities in the Muslim home.

Listening to Quran recitation will have a great impact on family members, whether by reflecting on the meaning, or help memorizing it.

We often find that tapes for children have a great influence on them. Have them listen to a young Quran reciter, or Du'as recited at various times of day and night, or Islamic manners, or Nashids (with no instrumental accompaniment)with a useful message, and so on.

Distribute good tapes by giving or lending them to others after listening to them.

Invite Righteous People and Seekers of Knowledge to Visit Your Home

"My Lord! Forgive me, and my parents, and him who enters my home as a believer, and all the believing men and women...". [Nuh 71:28]

If people of faith enter your home, it will increase in light (Nur), and will bring many benefits because of your conversations and discussion with them.

The bearer of musk will either give you some, or you will buy from him, or you will find that he has a pleasant scent.

When children, brothers and parents sit with such visitors, and women listen from behind a curtain or screen to what is said, this offers an educational experience to all.

If you bring good people into your home, by doing so you keep bad people from coming in a wreaking havoc.

Avoid Showing Family Conflicts In Front of Others

It is rare for people to live together under one roof without any arguments, but reconciliation is better and correcting oneself is a virtue.

What shakes the unity of the family and harms its infrastructure is when conflicts are brought out into the open before the members of the family, who then split into two or more opposing camps, not to mention the psychological harm that is done to children, especially little ones.

Think about a home where the father says to the child, "Do not speak to your mother," and the mother says to him, "Do not speak to your father."

The child is confused and filled with turmoil, and the entire family lives in an atmosphere of hostility. We should try to avoid conflict, but if it happens, we should try to hide it.

We ask Allah to create love between our hearts.

Have a Schedule for Meals And Bedtime

There is nothing nicer than a family gathering together at the table and making the most of this opportunity to ask how everyone is and to discuss useful topics.

Spread Kindness in the Home

'A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said:

"The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: 'When Allah - may He be glorified - wills some good towards the people of a household, He introduces kindness among them.' ".

This is one of the means of attaining happiness in the home, for kindness is very beneficial between the family members, and brings results that cannot be achieved through harshness, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

"Allah loves kindness and rewards it in such a way that He does not reward for harshness or for anything else." (Muslim)

Be Affectionate

Showing affection towards family members is one of the things that lead to creating an atmosphere of happiness and friendliness in the home.

The prophet (peace be upon him) used to show his affection towards his wives, children and everyone around. Abu Hurairah said:

"The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) kissed al-Hasan ibn 'Ali, and al-Aqra' ibn Habis At-Tamimi was sitting with him. Al-Aqra' said: 'I have ten children and I have never kissed any one of them.' The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) looked at him and said: 'The one who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.'"

Resist Bad Manners in The Home

Every member of the household is bound to have some bad characteristics, such as lying, backbiting, gossiping and so on. These bad characteristics have to be resisted and opposed. 'A'ishah said:

"If the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) came to know that one of his household had told a lie, he would try to ignore him until he repented." (Ahmad)

Shield Your Home Against Common or Hidden Evils

Beware of non-Mahram relatives entering upon women when their husbands are absent.
Men and women should sit separately during family visits.
Beware of the dangers of having male drivers and female servants in the house.
Beware of the dangers of TV.
Beware of the evils of the telephone.
Remove everything that contains symbols of the false religions of the Kuffar or their gods and objects of worship.
Remove pictures of animate beings.
Do not allow smoking in your homes.
Do not keep dogs in your homes.
Avoid too much decoration in your homes (keep it simple).

Pay Attention to Family's Health and Safety

When any member of his family got sick, the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) would blow on them and recite al-Mu'widhatayn (last two Surahs of the Quran). (Muslim)

When one of his family members got sick, he would call for soup, and it would be made for him, then he would tell them to drink it, and he would say, "It will strengthen the heart of the one who is grieving and cleanse (heal) the heart of the one who is sick just as any one of you wipes the dirt from her face." (Tirmidhi)

May Allah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

From "40 Recommendations for the Muslim Home" by Sheikh Muhammad Al-Munajjid

Khadejah Jones
Share Islam Team
ShareIslam.com

One Apple Leads To His Marriage

2010-05-10T03:34:00.000-07:00

One of our pious predecessors, Thabit Bin Nu’man, was hungry and tired as he was passing through a garden that bordered a river. He was so hungry that he could hear his stomach growling, and so his eyes became fixed on the fruits he saw on the various trees of the garden. In a fit of desperation, he forgot himself and extended his hand to an apple that was within reach. He ate half of it and then drank water from the river. But then he became overcome with guilt, despite the fact that he had only eaten because of dire need.

He said to himself, “Woe unto me! How can I eat someone else’s fruits without his permission? I make it binding upon myself not to leave this place until I find the owner of this garden and ask him to forgive me for having eaten one of his apples.“

After a brief search, he found the owner’s house. He knocked on the door and the owner of the garden came out and asked him what he wanted.

Thabit Bin Nu’man said, “I entered your garden that borders the river, and I took this apple and ate half of it. Then I remembered it does not belong to me, and so I ask you now to excuse me for having eaten it and to forgive me for my mistake.“

The man said, “On one condition only I will forgive you for your mistake.“

Thabit Bin Nu’man asked, “And what is that condition?“

He said, “That you marry my daughter.“

Thabit Bin Nu’man said, “I will marry her.“

The man said, “But heed you this; indeed my daughter is blind, she does not see; mute, she does not speak;deaf, she does not hear.“

Thabit Bin Nu’man began to ponder over his situation; a difficult predicament indeed did he find himself in now; what should he do? Not get out of it, thought Thabit, for he realised that to be tested by such a woman, to take care of her, and to serve her, are all better than to eat from the foul matter of the Hellfire as a reward for the apple that he ate. And after all, the days of this world are limited.

And so he accepted the condition to mary the girl, seeking his reward from Allaah, Lord of all that exists. He was nonetheless somewhat anxious in the days prior to the marriage.

He thought, “How can I have sexual relations with a woman who neither speaks nor sees nor hears?“

So miserable did he become that he almost wished for the earth to swallow him up before the appointed date.

Yet despite such apprehensions, he placed his complete trust upon Allaah and he said, “There is neither might nor power except with Allaah. Indeed to Allaah do we belong and indeed to Him shall we al return.“

On the day of the marriage he saw her for the first time. She stood up before him and said, “Peace, mercy and blessings of Allaah be upon you.“

When he saw her grace and beauty, he was reminded of what he would see when he would imagine the fair maidens of paradise (i.e., the gorgeous hoor al-ayn). After a brief pause he said, “What is this? She indeed speaks, hears and sees.” He then told her what her father said earlier.

She said, “My father has spoken the truth. He said I was mute because I do not speak any forbidden word, and I have never spoken to any man who is not lawful to me (i.e., she has never spoken to any ghair mahrams)! And I am indeed deaf in the sense that I have never sat in a gathering in which there is backbiting, slander, or false and vain speech! And I am indeed blind, in the sense that I have never looked upon a man who is not permissible for me!“

[End]

Noble reader, reflect on and learn a lesson from this story!

My brothers in Islaam, see how much he feared Allaah, and how much he had his trust in Allaah, and where this got him!

My sisters in Islaam, see how this woman kept herself chaste, pious, in her hijaab, so much so, she was considered mute (not speaking to any man), deaf (avoiding places of backbiting) and blind (not seeing any man). Allaahu Akbar, isn’t it these qualities that pious men love to see in their wives? Nay; aren’t these qualities all men (Muslim and non-Muslims) wish to see in their wives? Isn’t it these qualities that give men the crave and yearn to meet their hoor al-ayn in jannah?

The fruit of this marriage was the birth of a child who grew up to be known as Imaam Abu Haneefah.

KHADIJAH BINT KHUWAYLID

2010-04-17T22:12:00.000-07:00

As-Salamu Alaykum (peace be upon you),
KHADIJAH BINT KHUWAYLID
The Wives of The Prophet Muhammad by: Ibn Kathir

Narrated Abu Hurayrah:

Jibril came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said, "O Messenger of Allah! This is Khadijah coming to you with a dish having meat soup (or food or drink). When she reaches you, greet her on behalf of her Lord (i.e. Allah) and on my behalf, and give her the glad tidings of having a Qasab (palace in Paradise) wherein there will be neither any noise nor any fatigue (trouble)." [Bukhari]

Khadijah, may Allah be pleased with her, came from a noble family. Her father Khuwaylid had been one of the most honored leaders of their tribe until he was killed in battle. Her husband had also died, leaving her a very wealthy woman. When Muhammad (peace be upon him) was still a young man, she entrusted him with some of her wealth, asking him to trade with it in Syria on her behalf. He was already well known for his honesty, truthfulness and trustworthiness. He returned from Syria after having made a large profit for Khadijah.
After hearing his account of the journey, she decided that he would make the best of the husbands, even though many of the most important nobles of the Quraish had already proposed to her and had been refused, and in due course she proposed to him. After the Prophet's uncle, Abu Talib, had given the proposed marriage his blessing, Muhammad and Khadijah were married. At the time of the marriage, the Prophet was twenty-five years old, while Khadijah was forty years old.

For the next fifteen years they lived happily together, and Khadijah bore several children. Their first child, a son whom they named Qasim, died when he was only two years old. However, Muhammad and Khadijah also had four daughters who survived: Zaynab, Ruqayya, Umm Kulthum and Fatima. Then Abdullah was born to him but also died in his infancy.

The more Khadijah came to know about her husband, the more she loved and respected him. Everyone in Makkah called him 'al-Amin', which means 'the trustworthy one', and she, more than anyone else, knew how fitting this name was. It became Muhammad's custom each year to spend the month of Ramadan in seclusion and reflection in a cave on the mountain of Hira, which is on the outskirts of Makkah. Khadijah would always make sure that he was provided with food and drink during his retreat. Towards the end of one Ramadan, when he was forty and Khadijah fifty-five, Muhammad suddenly appeared at their house in the middle of the night, trembling with fear and saying, "Cover me up, cover me up!"

Khadijah was very alarmed to see him in such a state. Quickly she wrapped a blanket around his shoulders and, when he had calmed down, she asked him to describe exactly what had happened. He told her how a being whom he had never seen before - in fact it was the angel Jibril - had suddenly appeared to him while he was asleep and had said, "Recite!"
"But I am not a reciter," he had replied, for he was unlettered and could neither read or write. "Recite!" the angel had repeated, clasping Muhammad close to his chest. "I am not a reciter," he had repeated. "Recite!" the angel had repeated, firmly embracing him yet again. "What shall I recite?" he had asked in desperation, and the angel had replied:

"Recite, in the Name of your Lord who created, created man from a clot, Recite, and your Lord is the Most Gracious, Who taught with the pen, taught man what he did not know." [Quran 96:1-5]

"Oh Muhammad," said Jibril eventually, "you are the Messenger of Allah and I am Jibril," and with these words he disappeared from Muhammad's sight.

As she listened to Muhammad's words, Khadijah did not share any of these fears. She realized that something tremendous and awe-inspiring had happened to her husband, and she was certain, knowing him as she did, that he was neither mad nor possessed. "Do not worry," she said, "for by Him who has dominion over Khadijah's soul, I hope that you are the Prophet of this nation. Allah would never humiliate you, for you are good to your relatives, you are true to your word, you help those who are in need, you support the weak, you feed the guest and you answer the call of those who are in distress."

When Muhammad (peace be upon him) was a little more relaxed, Khadijah took him to see her cousin, Waraqah ibn Nawfal, for he was a man of knowledge, and she was sure that he would be able to explain the meaning of what had just happened to her beloved husband. Waraqah had studied the books of both the Jews and the Christians very closely and he had learned a great deal from many of their wisest people. He knew that the coming of another Prophet had been foretold by both Moses and Jesus, peace be on them, and he knew many of the signs that would confirm the identity of this Prophet when he appeared.

After listening closely to his story, Waraqah, who was both old and blind, exclaimed, "This is the same being who brought the revelations of Allah to Moses. I wish I was young and could be alive while our people will drive you out."

He explained to Muhammad (peace be upon him) about his Prophethood and that it was the Angel Jibril that had visited him at the cave.

Khadijah as both overjoyed and awed to find that her understanding of what had happened on the mountain had been confirmed. Khadijah did not hesitate in expressing "I bear witness that there is no god except Allah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah."

In the years that followed, difficult years in which the leaders of the Quraish did everything in their power to stop the Prophet spreading his message, Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) was a constant source of help and comfort to Muhammad (peace be upon him) in the difficulties which he had to face. All her wealth was spent in the way of Allah, helping to spread the message of her husband, helping to free slaves who had embraced Islam, and helping to feed and shelter the community of Muslims that slowly but surely began to grow in numbers and strength.

The Quraish were infuriated by the Prophet's success and did everything in their power to discourage both him and his followers, often inflicting awful tortures on them, but without success. Eventually there came a time when, as Waraqah had foretold, Muhammad and his followers -along with all the members of his tribe, the Banu Hashim were driven out of the city of Mecca and forced to camp out in a small ravine in the mountains nearby. No one would buy and sell with the Muslims, or allow their sons and daughters to marry any of them.

For three years the small Muslim community lived a life of hardship and deprivation, but although they suffered from hunger and thirst, and from exposure to heat and cold, this was a time in which the hearts of the first Muslims were both purified and also filled with the light of knowledge and wisdom. It was during this period that the Prophet's uncle, Abu Talib, who was by then more than eighty years old, died; and then a few months later, during the month of Ramadan, Khadijah also died, at the age of sixty-five, may Allah be pleased with her. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) mourned her deeply. They had shared twenty-five years of marriage together and she had given birth to five of his children.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) never stopped loving Khadijah, and although he married several more wives in later years and loved them all, it is clear that Khadijah always had a special place in his heart. Indeed whenever 'Ayshah, his third wife, heard the Prophet speak of Khadijah, or saw him sending food to Khadijah's old friends and relatives, she could not help feeling jealous of her, because of the love that the Prophet still had for her.

Once Ayshah asked him if Khadijah had been the only woman worthy of his love. The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied: "She believed in me when no one else did; she accepted Islam when people rejected me; and she helped and comforted me when there was no one else to lend me a helping hand."

Khadejah Jones
Share Islam Team
ShareIslam.com