The Muslim Woman and her home

What does the home represent to each one of us? Isn't it not the place where one eats, rests, and enjoys the company of his family members? If we think about those who are homeless, or living in shelters, or as refuges scattered in temporary places, then we will realize the blessings of our home.There are many motives for the believer to put their homes in order:

1. Protecting oneself and the family from the fire of Hell, and keeping them safe from the Allah's punishment.

2. The great responsibility borne by the head of the household on the day of judgment.

3. The home is a safe haven to protect us from evils and keep one's own evils from people, it is a refuge prescribed by Islam at times of fitnah (tribulation).

4. The home shares a big part of the human life, and therefore maintaining a healthy home provides a good environment to spend the time in the worship of Allah, and refraining from wrongdoing.

5. The home is an essential part of building the strong blocks for the Muslim society.

Following are tips to help you revive and strengthen your Muslim home:


Make Your Home a Place For the Remembrance of Allah

Revive your homes with all kinds of Dhikr. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

"The likeness of a house in which Allah is remembered and the house in which Allah is not remembered is that of the living and the dead, respectively."

We must make our homes places where Allah is remembered in all kinds of ways, whether in our hearts, verbally, during prayer, by reading Quran, by discussing Islamic issues, or by reading different kinds of Islamic books.


Help Your Family Increase Their Faith

Encourage your house members to pray, fast, give charity as means of increasing faith.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

"May Allah have mercy on a man who gets up at night and prays, then he wakes up his wife to pray, and if she refuses he throws water in her face." (Ahmad and Abu Dawud)

Have a box at home for donations to the poor and needy: whatever is put in the box belongs to them, because it is their vessel in the Muslim home.

If the family members see an example among them fasting on al-Ayyam al-Bid (the 13th, 14th and 15th of each Hijri month), Mondays and Thursdays, Tasu'a' and 'Ashura' (the 9th and 10th of Muharram), 'Arafah, and frequently in Muharram and Sha'ban, this will be a motive for them to do likewise.


Learn Supplications Related to Home

The messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

"When any one of you enters his home and mentions the Name of Allah when he enters and when he eats, the Shaytan says: 'You have no place to stay and nothing to eat here.' If he enters and does not mention the name of Allah when he enters, [the Shaytan] says, 'You have a place to stay.' If he does not mention the name of Allah when he eats, [the Shaytan says], 'You have a place to stay and something to eat.'". (Ahmad)

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) also said:

"If a man goes out of his house and says, 'Bismillah, Tawakkaltu 'Ala Allah, La Hawla Wa La Quwwata Illa Billah (In the name of Allah, I put my trust in Allah, there is no help and no strength except in Allah),' it will be said to him, 'This will take care of you, you are guided, you have what you need and you are protected.' The Shaytan will stay away from him, and another Shaytan will say to him, 'What can you do with a man who is guided, provided for and protected?'" (Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi)

'A'ishah said:
"When the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) entered his house, the first thing he would do was use Siwak." (Muslim)


Continuously Recite Surah Al-Baqarah to Ward Off Shaytan

Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

"Do not make your houses into graves. The Shaytan flees from a house in which Surat al- Baqarah is recited." (Muslim)

Concerning the virtues of the last two Ayat of this Surah, and the effect of reciting them in one's house, he (peace be upon him) said:

"Allah wrote a document two thousand years before He created the heavens and the earth, which is kept near the Throne, and He revealed two Ayat of it with which He concluded Surat al-Baqarah. If they are recited in a house for three consecutive nights, the Shaytan will not approach it." (Ahmad)


Teach Your Family

Allah says:
"O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones..."

Allocate some time for the family, and even for others such as relatives, to hold a study-circle at home and encourage them to come regularly, so that it will be an ongoing commitment for you and them.


Build Your Islamic Library

It does not have to be extensive; what matters is choosing good books, putting them in a place where they are readily accessible, and encouraging family members to read them.

Include books of varying levels, so that old and young, men and women can all use them.

Also have books for giving to guests, children's friends and family visitors, but try to get books that are attractively presented, edited properly and with the sources and classification of the Hadiths properly given.

One way in which you can help family members find a book when they want it is to organize the books according to subject, Tafsir, Hadith, Fiqh ..etc.

One of the family members could also compile alphabetical or subject indexes of the library, to make it easier to look for books.

Consult and seek advice from those who have experience in the field of books.
Whomever Allah wishes good for, He helps him to understand His religion.


Have a Home Audio Library

Having a cassette player in every home may be used for good or for evil.

How can we use it in a manner that is pleasing to Allah? Having a home audio library containing good Islamic tapes by scholars who are striving to raise the awareness of the Ummah, establish proof and denounce evil is very important for establishing individual personalities in the Muslim home.

Listening to Quran recitation will have a great impact on family members, whether by reflecting on the meaning, or help memorizing it.

We often find that tapes for children have a great influence on them. Have them listen to a young Quran reciter, or Du'as recited at various times of day and night, or Islamic manners, or Nashids (with no instrumental accompaniment)with a useful message, and so on.

Distribute good tapes by giving or lending them to others after listening to them.


Invite Righteous People and Seekers of Knowledge to Visit Your Home

"My Lord! Forgive me, and my parents, and him who enters my home as a believer, and all the believing men and women...". [Nuh 71:28]

If people of faith enter your home, it will increase in light (Nur), and will bring many benefits because of your conversations and discussion with them.

The bearer of musk will either give you some, or you will buy from him, or you will find that he has a pleasant scent.

When children, brothers and parents sit with such visitors, and women listen from behind a curtain or screen to what is said, this offers an educational experience to all.

If you bring good people into your home, by doing so you keep bad people from coming in a wreaking havoc.


Avoid Showing Family Conflicts In Front of Others

It is rare for people to live together under one roof without any arguments, but reconciliation is better and correcting oneself is a virtue.

What shakes the unity of the family and harms its infrastructure is when conflicts are brought out into the open before the members of the family, who then split into two or more opposing camps, not to mention the psychological harm that is done to children, especially little ones.

Think about a home where the father says to the child, "Do not speak to your mother," and the mother says to him, "Do not speak to your father."

The child is confused and filled with turmoil, and the entire family lives in an atmosphere of hostility. We should try to avoid conflict, but if it happens, we should try to hide it.

We ask Allah to create love between our hearts.


Have a Schedule for Meals And Bedtime

There is nothing nicer than a family gathering together at the table and making the most of this opportunity to ask how everyone is and to discuss useful topics.


Spread Kindness in the Home

'A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said:

"The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: 'When Allah - may He be glorified - wills some good towards the people of a household, He introduces kindness among them.' ".

This is one of the means of attaining happiness in the home, for kindness is very beneficial between the family members, and brings results that cannot be achieved through harshness, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

"Allah loves kindness and rewards it in such a way that He does not reward for harshness or for anything else." (Muslim)


Be Affectionate

Showing affection towards family members is one of the things that lead to creating an atmosphere of happiness and friendliness in the home.

The prophet (peace be upon him) used to show his affection towards his wives, children and everyone around. Abu Hurairah said:

"The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) kissed al-Hasan ibn 'Ali, and al-Aqra' ibn Habis At-Tamimi was sitting with him. Al-Aqra' said: 'I have ten children and I have never kissed any one of them.' The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) looked at him and said: 'The one who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.'"


Resist Bad Manners in The Home

Every member of the household is bound to have some bad characteristics, such as lying, backbiting, gossiping and so on. These bad characteristics have to be resisted and opposed. 'A'ishah said:

"If the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) came to know that one of his household had told a lie, he would try to ignore him until he repented." (Ahmad)


Shield Your Home Against Common or Hidden Evils

Beware of non-Mahram relatives entering upon women when their husbands are absent.
Men and women should sit separately during family visits.
Beware of the dangers of having male drivers and female servants in the house.
Beware of the dangers of TV.
Beware of the evils of the telephone.
Remove everything that contains symbols of the false religions of the Kuffar or their gods and objects of worship.
Remove pictures of animate beings.
Do not allow smoking in your homes.
Do not keep dogs in your homes.
Avoid too much decoration in your homes (keep it simple).

Pay Attention to Family's Health and Safety

When any member of his family got sick, the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) would blow on them and recite al-Mu'widhatayn (last two Surahs of the Quran). (Muslim)

When one of his family members got sick, he would call for soup, and it would be made for him, then he would tell them to drink it, and he would say, "It will strengthen the heart of the one who is grieving and cleanse (heal) the heart of the one who is sick just as any one of you wipes the dirt from her face." (Tirmidhi)

May Allah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

From "40 Recommendations for the Muslim Home" by Sheikh Muhammad Al-Munajjid

Khadejah Jones
Share Islam Team
ShareIslam.com

One Apple Leads To His Marriage

One of our pious predecessors, Thabit Bin Nu’man, was hungry and tired as he was passing through a garden that bordered a river. He was so hungry that he could hear his stomach growling, and so his eyes became fixed on the fruits he saw on the various trees of the garden. In a fit of desperation, he forgot himself and extended his hand to an apple that was within reach. He ate half of it and then drank water from the river. But then he became overcome with guilt, despite the fact that he had only eaten because of dire need.

He said to himself, “Woe unto me! How can I eat someone else’s fruits without his permission? I make it binding upon myself not to leave this place until I find the owner of this garden and ask him to forgive me for having eaten one of his apples.“

After a brief search, he found the owner’s house. He knocked on the door and the owner of the garden came out and asked him what he wanted.

Thabit Bin Nu’man said, “I entered your garden that borders the river, and I took this apple and ate half of it. Then I remembered it does not belong to me, and so I ask you now to excuse me for having eaten it and to forgive me for my mistake.“

The man said, “On one condition only I will forgive you for your mistake.“

Thabit Bin Nu’man asked, “And what is that condition?“

He said, “That you marry my daughter.“

Thabit Bin Nu’man said, “I will marry her.“

The man said, “But heed you this; indeed my daughter is blind, she does not see; mute, she does not speak;deaf, she does not hear.“

Thabit Bin Nu’man began to ponder over his situation; a difficult predicament indeed did he find himself in now; what should he do? Not get out of it, thought Thabit, for he realised that to be tested by such a woman, to take care of her, and to serve her, are all better than to eat from the foul matter of the Hellfire as a reward for the apple that he ate. And after all, the days of this world are limited.

And so he accepted the condition to mary the girl, seeking his reward from Allaah, Lord of all that exists. He was nonetheless somewhat anxious in the days prior to the marriage.

He thought, “How can I have sexual relations with a woman who neither speaks nor sees nor hears?“

So miserable did he become that he almost wished for the earth to swallow him up before the appointed date.

Yet despite such apprehensions, he placed his complete trust upon Allaah and he said, “There is neither might nor power except with Allaah. Indeed to Allaah do we belong and indeed to Him shall we al return.“

On the day of the marriage he saw her for the first time. She stood up before him and said, “Peace, mercy and blessings of Allaah be upon you.“

When he saw her grace and beauty, he was reminded of what he would see when he would imagine the fair maidens of paradise (i.e., the gorgeous hoor al-ayn). After a brief pause he said, “What is this? She indeed speaks, hears and sees.” He then told her what her father said earlier.

She said, “My father has spoken the truth. He said I was mute because I do not speak any forbidden word, and I have never spoken to any man who is not lawful to me (i.e., she has never spoken to any ghair mahrams)! And I am indeed deaf in the sense that I have never sat in a gathering in which there is backbiting, slander, or false and vain speech! And I am indeed blind, in the sense that I have never looked upon a man who is not permissible for me!“

[End]

Noble reader, reflect on and learn a lesson from this story!

My brothers in Islaam, see how much he feared Allaah, and how much he had his trust in Allaah, and where this got him!

My sisters in Islaam, see how this woman kept herself chaste, pious, in her hijaab, so much so, she was considered mute (not speaking to any man), deaf (avoiding places of backbiting) and blind (not seeing any man). Allaahu Akbar, isn’t it these qualities that pious men love to see in their wives? Nay; aren’t these qualities all men (Muslim and non-Muslims) wish to see in their wives? Isn’t it these qualities that give men the crave and yearn to meet their hoor al-ayn in jannah?

The fruit of this marriage was the birth of a child who grew up to be known as Imaam Abu Haneefah.

KHADIJAH BINT KHUWAYLID

As-Salamu Alaykum (peace be upon you),
KHADIJAH BINT KHUWAYLID
The Wives of The Prophet Muhammad by: Ibn Kathir

Narrated Abu Hurayrah:

Jibril came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said, "O Messenger of Allah! This is Khadijah coming to you with a dish having meat soup (or food or drink). When she reaches you, greet her on behalf of her Lord (i.e. Allah) and on my behalf, and give her the glad tidings of having a Qasab (palace in Paradise) wherein there will be neither any noise nor any fatigue (trouble)." [Bukhari]

Khadijah, may Allah be pleased with her, came from a noble family. Her father Khuwaylid had been one of the most honored leaders of their tribe until he was killed in battle. Her husband had also died, leaving her a very wealthy woman. When Muhammad (peace be upon him) was still a young man, she entrusted him with some of her wealth, asking him to trade with it in Syria on her behalf. He was already well known for his honesty, truthfulness and trustworthiness. He returned from Syria after having made a large profit for Khadijah.
After hearing his account of the journey, she decided that he would make the best of the husbands, even though many of the most important nobles of the Quraish had already proposed to her and had been refused, and in due course she proposed to him. After the Prophet's uncle, Abu Talib, had given the proposed marriage his blessing, Muhammad and Khadijah were married. At the time of the marriage, the Prophet was twenty-five years old, while Khadijah was forty years old.

For the next fifteen years they lived happily together, and Khadijah bore several children. Their first child, a son whom they named Qasim, died when he was only two years old. However, Muhammad and Khadijah also had four daughters who survived: Zaynab, Ruqayya, Umm Kulthum and Fatima. Then Abdullah was born to him but also died in his infancy.

The more Khadijah came to know about her husband, the more she loved and respected him. Everyone in Makkah called him 'al-Amin', which means 'the trustworthy one', and she, more than anyone else, knew how fitting this name was. It became Muhammad's custom each year to spend the month of Ramadan in seclusion and reflection in a cave on the mountain of Hira, which is on the outskirts of Makkah. Khadijah would always make sure that he was provided with food and drink during his retreat. Towards the end of one Ramadan, when he was forty and Khadijah fifty-five, Muhammad suddenly appeared at their house in the middle of the night, trembling with fear and saying, "Cover me up, cover me up!"

Khadijah was very alarmed to see him in such a state. Quickly she wrapped a blanket around his shoulders and, when he had calmed down, she asked him to describe exactly what had happened. He told her how a being whom he had never seen before - in fact it was the angel Jibril - had suddenly appeared to him while he was asleep and had said, "Recite!"
"But I am not a reciter," he had replied, for he was unlettered and could neither read or write. "Recite!" the angel had repeated, clasping Muhammad close to his chest. "I am not a reciter," he had repeated. "Recite!" the angel had repeated, firmly embracing him yet again. "What shall I recite?" he had asked in desperation, and the angel had replied:

"Recite, in the Name of your Lord who created, created man from a clot, Recite, and your Lord is the Most Gracious, Who taught with the pen, taught man what he did not know." [Quran 96:1-5]

"Oh Muhammad," said Jibril eventually, "you are the Messenger of Allah and I am Jibril," and with these words he disappeared from Muhammad's sight.

As she listened to Muhammad's words, Khadijah did not share any of these fears. She realized that something tremendous and awe-inspiring had happened to her husband, and she was certain, knowing him as she did, that he was neither mad nor possessed. "Do not worry," she said, "for by Him who has dominion over Khadijah's soul, I hope that you are the Prophet of this nation. Allah would never humiliate you, for you are good to your relatives, you are true to your word, you help those who are in need, you support the weak, you feed the guest and you answer the call of those who are in distress."

When Muhammad (peace be upon him) was a little more relaxed, Khadijah took him to see her cousin, Waraqah ibn Nawfal, for he was a man of knowledge, and she was sure that he would be able to explain the meaning of what had just happened to her beloved husband. Waraqah had studied the books of both the Jews and the Christians very closely and he had learned a great deal from many of their wisest people. He knew that the coming of another Prophet had been foretold by both Moses and Jesus, peace be on them, and he knew many of the signs that would confirm the identity of this Prophet when he appeared.

After listening closely to his story, Waraqah, who was both old and blind, exclaimed, "This is the same being who brought the revelations of Allah to Moses. I wish I was young and could be alive while our people will drive you out."

He explained to Muhammad (peace be upon him) about his Prophethood and that it was the Angel Jibril that had visited him at the cave.

Khadijah as both overjoyed and awed to find that her understanding of what had happened on the mountain had been confirmed. Khadijah did not hesitate in expressing "I bear witness that there is no god except Allah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah."

In the years that followed, difficult years in which the leaders of the Quraish did everything in their power to stop the Prophet spreading his message, Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) was a constant source of help and comfort to Muhammad (peace be upon him) in the difficulties which he had to face. All her wealth was spent in the way of Allah, helping to spread the message of her husband, helping to free slaves who had embraced Islam, and helping to feed and shelter the community of Muslims that slowly but surely began to grow in numbers and strength.

The Quraish were infuriated by the Prophet's success and did everything in their power to discourage both him and his followers, often inflicting awful tortures on them, but without success. Eventually there came a time when, as Waraqah had foretold, Muhammad and his followers -along with all the members of his tribe, the Banu Hashim were driven out of the city of Mecca and forced to camp out in a small ravine in the mountains nearby. No one would buy and sell with the Muslims, or allow their sons and daughters to marry any of them.

For three years the small Muslim community lived a life of hardship and deprivation, but although they suffered from hunger and thirst, and from exposure to heat and cold, this was a time in which the hearts of the first Muslims were both purified and also filled with the light of knowledge and wisdom. It was during this period that the Prophet's uncle, Abu Talib, who was by then more than eighty years old, died; and then a few months later, during the month of Ramadan, Khadijah also died, at the age of sixty-five, may Allah be pleased with her. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) mourned her deeply. They had shared twenty-five years of marriage together and she had given birth to five of his children.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) never stopped loving Khadijah, and although he married several more wives in later years and loved them all, it is clear that Khadijah always had a special place in his heart. Indeed whenever 'Ayshah, his third wife, heard the Prophet speak of Khadijah, or saw him sending food to Khadijah's old friends and relatives, she could not help feeling jealous of her, because of the love that the Prophet still had for her.

Once Ayshah asked him if Khadijah had been the only woman worthy of his love. The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied: "She believed in me when no one else did; she accepted Islam when people rejected me; and she helped and comforted me when there was no one else to lend me a helping hand."

Khadejah Jones
Share Islam Team
ShareIslam.com