Ingredients of a Muslimah

What makes up a Muslimah?
Modesty - A Muslim woman is always modest in her appearance and in every way she carries herself. She does not need to attract attention by sprucing up her her attire, neither does she need to jingle her bracelets. She does not need to laugh out loudly or dance around for others to notice her. Attention that is paid to her is through her intellect, her character, her wit and her
charm.

Uniqueness - She is proud of who she is and needs not to live up to expectations of others. She needs not beautify herself to please another; she needs not join social rings that invite the "in" club; she needs not indulge in gossip or slave over what is hot and what is not. She is herself, and she is proud to be herself - she does not mind standing out from the crowd in her own unique special way, in which she pleases Allah, and Allah alone.

Self-sacrifice - There is nothing more important than tending to others. They could be brothers and sisters in a war-torn country; orphans living down the street; her spouse and her babies; her parents and her neighbours. The self-sacrificing Muslimah always lends a hand. She may be cooking for her parents, organising a charity run, feeding her children, writing for a Muslim magazine. She sees her place in the world as a person who is there to make a difference.

Love - She is the all-time lover. She loves and hates for the sake of Allah - loving all that is clean and pure; beautiful and pious; she loves all that is good and anything that will help her be a better person. She loves her family and her spouse; her friends and her neighbours; her brothers and sisters of the Islamic faith and brothers and sisters of other faith. She loves her children, and mostly, she loves herself for she is a gift to herself from her Creator.

Imaan - Her imaan or her faith defines her. Because she submits to Allah, when she is happy, she praises Him, when she is in need, she prays for His help. Her unshakeable faith helps her through difficult times and reminds her of herself during happy times.

Meaningfullness - Idleness is her enemy. Laziness is her nemesis. The Muslimah's life is full of meaning. Everything she does, she has already understood that it is for a certain good. She moves forwards, never backwards. She leaps for opportunities and reaches out to the sky for stars and cloud fluff... all for a reason. She does not dwell in shallowness, neither does she indulge in ignorance. She always moves forwards, full of meaning.

Assurance - Or should I say self-assured? The true Muslimah is confident in the way she carries herself. Mostly because she does not have to feel belittled by those who prey on vulnerability. She does not need to answer to anyone but Allah and as long as he is not displeased with her, she has nothing to worry about! She looks beyond the superficial and all that is material... she looks to the afterlife and she is assured that everything she does works towards eternal happiness.

Humility - A Muslimah displays humility at all times. She is never arrogant or condescending upon others. She admits when she makes mistakes and corrects others with care and tact. She i a student regardless of her age and position and is always willing to learn something new. The vast knowledge Allah has displays, humbles her and no matter what her achievements are, she thanks Allah. In prayer, she demostrates humility when she places her forehead on the ground in full prostration to her Lord.

How they lived

From the lives of our pious predecessors.

It is reported that some people asked Ali Bin Abu Talib (may Allah be pleased with him) to describe this worldly life. He said: “Do you want a long description or a brief one?” They replied, “A brief one.” He said, “Its Halaal things (lead to) accounts being taken from you, and its Haraam things (lead to the) Fire.”

-Ibn Abi Al-Dunya, Dham

Al-Dunya, article 17

The Muslim Woman and her home

What does the home represent to each one of us? Isn't it not the place where one eats, rests, and enjoys the company of his family members? If we think about those who are homeless, or living in shelters, or as refuges scattered in temporary places, then we will realize the blessings of our home.There are many motives for the believer to put their homes in order:

1. Protecting oneself and the family from the fire of Hell, and keeping them safe from the Allah's punishment.

2. The great responsibility borne by the head of the household on the day of judgment.

3. The home is a safe haven to protect us from evils and keep one's own evils from people, it is a refuge prescribed by Islam at times of fitnah (tribulation).

4. The home shares a big part of the human life, and therefore maintaining a healthy home provides a good environment to spend the time in the worship of Allah, and refraining from wrongdoing.

5. The home is an essential part of building the strong blocks for the Muslim society.

Following are tips to help you revive and strengthen your Muslim home:


Make Your Home a Place For the Remembrance of Allah

Revive your homes with all kinds of Dhikr. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

"The likeness of a house in which Allah is remembered and the house in which Allah is not remembered is that of the living and the dead, respectively."

We must make our homes places where Allah is remembered in all kinds of ways, whether in our hearts, verbally, during prayer, by reading Quran, by discussing Islamic issues, or by reading different kinds of Islamic books.


Help Your Family Increase Their Faith

Encourage your house members to pray, fast, give charity as means of increasing faith.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

"May Allah have mercy on a man who gets up at night and prays, then he wakes up his wife to pray, and if she refuses he throws water in her face." (Ahmad and Abu Dawud)

Have a box at home for donations to the poor and needy: whatever is put in the box belongs to them, because it is their vessel in the Muslim home.

If the family members see an example among them fasting on al-Ayyam al-Bid (the 13th, 14th and 15th of each Hijri month), Mondays and Thursdays, Tasu'a' and 'Ashura' (the 9th and 10th of Muharram), 'Arafah, and frequently in Muharram and Sha'ban, this will be a motive for them to do likewise.


Learn Supplications Related to Home

The messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

"When any one of you enters his home and mentions the Name of Allah when he enters and when he eats, the Shaytan says: 'You have no place to stay and nothing to eat here.' If he enters and does not mention the name of Allah when he enters, [the Shaytan] says, 'You have a place to stay.' If he does not mention the name of Allah when he eats, [the Shaytan says], 'You have a place to stay and something to eat.'". (Ahmad)

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) also said:

"If a man goes out of his house and says, 'Bismillah, Tawakkaltu 'Ala Allah, La Hawla Wa La Quwwata Illa Billah (In the name of Allah, I put my trust in Allah, there is no help and no strength except in Allah),' it will be said to him, 'This will take care of you, you are guided, you have what you need and you are protected.' The Shaytan will stay away from him, and another Shaytan will say to him, 'What can you do with a man who is guided, provided for and protected?'" (Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi)

'A'ishah said:
"When the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) entered his house, the first thing he would do was use Siwak." (Muslim)


Continuously Recite Surah Al-Baqarah to Ward Off Shaytan

Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

"Do not make your houses into graves. The Shaytan flees from a house in which Surat al- Baqarah is recited." (Muslim)

Concerning the virtues of the last two Ayat of this Surah, and the effect of reciting them in one's house, he (peace be upon him) said:

"Allah wrote a document two thousand years before He created the heavens and the earth, which is kept near the Throne, and He revealed two Ayat of it with which He concluded Surat al-Baqarah. If they are recited in a house for three consecutive nights, the Shaytan will not approach it." (Ahmad)


Teach Your Family

Allah says:
"O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones..."

Allocate some time for the family, and even for others such as relatives, to hold a study-circle at home and encourage them to come regularly, so that it will be an ongoing commitment for you and them.


Build Your Islamic Library

It does not have to be extensive; what matters is choosing good books, putting them in a place where they are readily accessible, and encouraging family members to read them.

Include books of varying levels, so that old and young, men and women can all use them.

Also have books for giving to guests, children's friends and family visitors, but try to get books that are attractively presented, edited properly and with the sources and classification of the Hadiths properly given.

One way in which you can help family members find a book when they want it is to organize the books according to subject, Tafsir, Hadith, Fiqh ..etc.

One of the family members could also compile alphabetical or subject indexes of the library, to make it easier to look for books.

Consult and seek advice from those who have experience in the field of books.
Whomever Allah wishes good for, He helps him to understand His religion.


Have a Home Audio Library

Having a cassette player in every home may be used for good or for evil.

How can we use it in a manner that is pleasing to Allah? Having a home audio library containing good Islamic tapes by scholars who are striving to raise the awareness of the Ummah, establish proof and denounce evil is very important for establishing individual personalities in the Muslim home.

Listening to Quran recitation will have a great impact on family members, whether by reflecting on the meaning, or help memorizing it.

We often find that tapes for children have a great influence on them. Have them listen to a young Quran reciter, or Du'as recited at various times of day and night, or Islamic manners, or Nashids (with no instrumental accompaniment)with a useful message, and so on.

Distribute good tapes by giving or lending them to others after listening to them.


Invite Righteous People and Seekers of Knowledge to Visit Your Home

"My Lord! Forgive me, and my parents, and him who enters my home as a believer, and all the believing men and women...". [Nuh 71:28]

If people of faith enter your home, it will increase in light (Nur), and will bring many benefits because of your conversations and discussion with them.

The bearer of musk will either give you some, or you will buy from him, or you will find that he has a pleasant scent.

When children, brothers and parents sit with such visitors, and women listen from behind a curtain or screen to what is said, this offers an educational experience to all.

If you bring good people into your home, by doing so you keep bad people from coming in a wreaking havoc.


Avoid Showing Family Conflicts In Front of Others

It is rare for people to live together under one roof without any arguments, but reconciliation is better and correcting oneself is a virtue.

What shakes the unity of the family and harms its infrastructure is when conflicts are brought out into the open before the members of the family, who then split into two or more opposing camps, not to mention the psychological harm that is done to children, especially little ones.

Think about a home where the father says to the child, "Do not speak to your mother," and the mother says to him, "Do not speak to your father."

The child is confused and filled with turmoil, and the entire family lives in an atmosphere of hostility. We should try to avoid conflict, but if it happens, we should try to hide it.

We ask Allah to create love between our hearts.


Have a Schedule for Meals And Bedtime

There is nothing nicer than a family gathering together at the table and making the most of this opportunity to ask how everyone is and to discuss useful topics.


Spread Kindness in the Home

'A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said:

"The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: 'When Allah - may He be glorified - wills some good towards the people of a household, He introduces kindness among them.' ".

This is one of the means of attaining happiness in the home, for kindness is very beneficial between the family members, and brings results that cannot be achieved through harshness, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

"Allah loves kindness and rewards it in such a way that He does not reward for harshness or for anything else." (Muslim)


Be Affectionate

Showing affection towards family members is one of the things that lead to creating an atmosphere of happiness and friendliness in the home.

The prophet (peace be upon him) used to show his affection towards his wives, children and everyone around. Abu Hurairah said:

"The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) kissed al-Hasan ibn 'Ali, and al-Aqra' ibn Habis At-Tamimi was sitting with him. Al-Aqra' said: 'I have ten children and I have never kissed any one of them.' The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) looked at him and said: 'The one who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.'"


Resist Bad Manners in The Home

Every member of the household is bound to have some bad characteristics, such as lying, backbiting, gossiping and so on. These bad characteristics have to be resisted and opposed. 'A'ishah said:

"If the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) came to know that one of his household had told a lie, he would try to ignore him until he repented." (Ahmad)


Shield Your Home Against Common or Hidden Evils

Beware of non-Mahram relatives entering upon women when their husbands are absent.
Men and women should sit separately during family visits.
Beware of the dangers of having male drivers and female servants in the house.
Beware of the dangers of TV.
Beware of the evils of the telephone.
Remove everything that contains symbols of the false religions of the Kuffar or their gods and objects of worship.
Remove pictures of animate beings.
Do not allow smoking in your homes.
Do not keep dogs in your homes.
Avoid too much decoration in your homes (keep it simple).

Pay Attention to Family's Health and Safety

When any member of his family got sick, the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) would blow on them and recite al-Mu'widhatayn (last two Surahs of the Quran). (Muslim)

When one of his family members got sick, he would call for soup, and it would be made for him, then he would tell them to drink it, and he would say, "It will strengthen the heart of the one who is grieving and cleanse (heal) the heart of the one who is sick just as any one of you wipes the dirt from her face." (Tirmidhi)

May Allah bless our Prophet Muhammad.

From "40 Recommendations for the Muslim Home" by Sheikh Muhammad Al-Munajjid

Khadejah Jones
Share Islam Team
ShareIslam.com

One Apple Leads To His Marriage

One of our pious predecessors, Thabit Bin Nu’man, was hungry and tired as he was passing through a garden that bordered a river. He was so hungry that he could hear his stomach growling, and so his eyes became fixed on the fruits he saw on the various trees of the garden. In a fit of desperation, he forgot himself and extended his hand to an apple that was within reach. He ate half of it and then drank water from the river. But then he became overcome with guilt, despite the fact that he had only eaten because of dire need.

He said to himself, “Woe unto me! How can I eat someone else’s fruits without his permission? I make it binding upon myself not to leave this place until I find the owner of this garden and ask him to forgive me for having eaten one of his apples.“

After a brief search, he found the owner’s house. He knocked on the door and the owner of the garden came out and asked him what he wanted.

Thabit Bin Nu’man said, “I entered your garden that borders the river, and I took this apple and ate half of it. Then I remembered it does not belong to me, and so I ask you now to excuse me for having eaten it and to forgive me for my mistake.“

The man said, “On one condition only I will forgive you for your mistake.“

Thabit Bin Nu’man asked, “And what is that condition?“

He said, “That you marry my daughter.“

Thabit Bin Nu’man said, “I will marry her.“

The man said, “But heed you this; indeed my daughter is blind, she does not see; mute, she does not speak;deaf, she does not hear.“

Thabit Bin Nu’man began to ponder over his situation; a difficult predicament indeed did he find himself in now; what should he do? Not get out of it, thought Thabit, for he realised that to be tested by such a woman, to take care of her, and to serve her, are all better than to eat from the foul matter of the Hellfire as a reward for the apple that he ate. And after all, the days of this world are limited.

And so he accepted the condition to mary the girl, seeking his reward from Allaah, Lord of all that exists. He was nonetheless somewhat anxious in the days prior to the marriage.

He thought, “How can I have sexual relations with a woman who neither speaks nor sees nor hears?“

So miserable did he become that he almost wished for the earth to swallow him up before the appointed date.

Yet despite such apprehensions, he placed his complete trust upon Allaah and he said, “There is neither might nor power except with Allaah. Indeed to Allaah do we belong and indeed to Him shall we al return.“

On the day of the marriage he saw her for the first time. She stood up before him and said, “Peace, mercy and blessings of Allaah be upon you.“

When he saw her grace and beauty, he was reminded of what he would see when he would imagine the fair maidens of paradise (i.e., the gorgeous hoor al-ayn). After a brief pause he said, “What is this? She indeed speaks, hears and sees.” He then told her what her father said earlier.

She said, “My father has spoken the truth. He said I was mute because I do not speak any forbidden word, and I have never spoken to any man who is not lawful to me (i.e., she has never spoken to any ghair mahrams)! And I am indeed deaf in the sense that I have never sat in a gathering in which there is backbiting, slander, or false and vain speech! And I am indeed blind, in the sense that I have never looked upon a man who is not permissible for me!“

[End]

Noble reader, reflect on and learn a lesson from this story!

My brothers in Islaam, see how much he feared Allaah, and how much he had his trust in Allaah, and where this got him!

My sisters in Islaam, see how this woman kept herself chaste, pious, in her hijaab, so much so, she was considered mute (not speaking to any man), deaf (avoiding places of backbiting) and blind (not seeing any man). Allaahu Akbar, isn’t it these qualities that pious men love to see in their wives? Nay; aren’t these qualities all men (Muslim and non-Muslims) wish to see in their wives? Isn’t it these qualities that give men the crave and yearn to meet their hoor al-ayn in jannah?

The fruit of this marriage was the birth of a child who grew up to be known as Imaam Abu Haneefah.