Do not interfere in matters that do not concern you

Do not interfere in matters that do not concern yo

by Dawah Blog

“From the excellence of

one’s Islam is to leave that which does not concern him.”

How beautiful is this expression, especially if you were to hear it from the righteous and pure mouth of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ! Yes, to leave that which does not concern him!

How many are those cumbersome people who bother you by interfering in matters that do not concern them? They bother you when they see your watch, “How much did you buy this for?”

You reply, “This was given to me as a gift”.

Then they would say, “A gift? From whom?”

You reply, “From a friend.”

He would continue, “Your friend from the university? Or your locality? Or elsewhere?”

You reply, “Well, a friend of mine from the university.”

He keeps pressing, “Okay, but what was the occasion?”

You respond, “Well, an occasion, from our university days.”

He then says, “Yes, but what occasion in particular? Graduation? Or when you went on a trip? Or something else?”

He would continue to ask you questions about an utterly worthless matter! I ask you, by Allaah, wouldn’t you feel like shouting at him, saying, “Do not interfere in that which does not concern you!’ And even worse is if he were to put you in an awkward situation by asking you an embarrassing question in public!

I remember, once I was in a gathering with a group of my friends. After the Maghrib prayer, one of my friends’ mobile phone rang. He was sitting next to me. He answered the phone,

“Yes?”

His wife shouted on the phone, “Hello! Where are you, you donkey?” Her voice was so loud that I could hear their conversation well. He said, “I am fine, may Allaah protect you.” It seemed as though he had promised her to take her to her family, but became busy with us. His wife became really angry and said, “May Allaah not protect you! You are quite happy to be with your friends all the while I wait for you. By Allaah, you are a bull!”

He said, “May Allaah be pleased with you. I will come to you after ‘Ishaa.”

I realised that his speech did not exactly correspond to hers. Thereafter I realised that he was speaking in this manner in order to save himself from embarrassment.

He then finished his call. I began to look at those present, thinking to myself that one of them will ask him, “Who was that on the phone? What does he want from you? Why did your face change after the conversation?” But Allaah had mercy on him; no one interfered in a matter which did not concern them.

Likewise, if you were to visit a patient and ask him about his illness, and he were to reply vaguely, “al-Hamdulillah, nothing major, just minor illness”, and such expressions that do not explicitly answer the question, do not embarrass him by persisting on asking detailed questions, such as, “I am sorry, but what exactly is the illness? Please clarify what you said” and so on. Why the need to embarrass him?

From the excellence of one’s Islam is to leave that which does not concern him. I mean, are you really waiting for him to tell you, “I have haemorrhoids”, or “I have an injury, in an embarrassing place”, etc? As long as he gave you a vague response, there is no need to ask him for details. I do not mean that he should not question the patient about his illness. What I mean is that one should not ask detailed questions about another’s illness.

Another example of this is a person who called out to a student in front of all the people in a public gathering, and asked in a loud voice, “Hey! Ahmad! Did you pass?” Ahmad said, “Yes’. He asked, “What percentage? What grade?”

If he truly cared for him, he would have asked him when he was alone. There was also no need to go into details by asking “What percentage? Why didn’t you revise? Why weren’t you accepted in the university?” If he was really ready to help him, then he could have taken him to the side and spoken to him about whatever he liked. But as for displaying his dirty laundry in public, then that certainly was not genuine!

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “From the excellence of one’s Islam is to leave that which does not concern him.”

However, be careful. Do not make a matter larger than it is. Once I was travelling to Madinah and was busy delivering a number of lectures. So I agreed with a kind young man to take my two sons, ‘Abd ar-Rahman and Ibrahim, after ‘Asr, to their Qur’an memorisation circles, or some summer amusement centre, and to return with them after ‘Isha.

‘Abd ar-Rahman was ten years old. I feared that that young man may ask him some useless questions, such as, “What is your mother’s name? Where is your house? How many brothers do you have? How much pocket money does your father give you?” So I warned ‘Abd ar-Rahman and said, “If he were to ask you an inappropriate question, just say to him that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘From the excellence of one’s Islam is to leave that which does not concern him.’” I repeated to him the Hadith until he had memorised it.

‘Abd ar-Rahman and his brother then sat in the car with this young man. ‘Abd ar-Rahman was at the time both very tense and respectful. The young man said out of kindness, “May Allaah prolong your life, O ‘Abd ar-Rahman!” ‘Abd ar-Rahman replied, “May Allaah prolong your life, too!” The poor young man wanted to lighten up the atmosphere a bit, so he said, “Is the Shaykh delivering any lecture today?” ‘Abd ar-Rahman tried to remember the Hadith, but his memory did not help him, so he yelled, “Do not interfere in things that do not concern you!” The young man said, “I mean, I would just like to attend his lecture and benefit.”

‘Abd ar-Rahman then thought that he was trying to be clever, so he repeated the same response, ‘“Do not interfere in things that do not concern you.” The young man then said, “I am sorry, ‘Abd al-Rahman. But what I mean is…”, but ‘Abd ar-Rahman again shouted, “No! Do not interfere in that which does not concern you!” They remained on these terms until I returned. ‘Abd ar- Rahman then informed me of the entire story with pride, so I laughed and had to explain the concept to him once again.

Workshop…

Struggling against yourself to free yourself from interfering in others’ affairs is exhausting in the beginning, but easy in the end.

Is it permissible for my wife to shake hands with my father

Is it permissible for my wife to shake hands with my father

?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Yes, that is permissible, because when a man makes a marriage contract with a woman, his father becomes a mahram for her, as does his son from another wife. And her mother becomes a mahram for him, as does her daughter from another husband.

This is called a mahram by marriage.

The evidence that the husband’s father is a mahram for the son’s wife is the verse in which Allaah mentions the women who are mahrams (interpretation of the meaning):

“the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins”

[al-Nisa’ 4:23]

So the wife of the son is a mahram for her husband’s father.

The evidence that the husband’s son is a mahram for his father’s wife is the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And marry not women whom your fathers married, except what has already passed”

[al-Nisa’ 4:22]

The evidence that the wife’s mother is a mahram for her daughter’s husband is the verse in which Allaah mentions the women who are mahrams (interpretation of the meaning):

“…your wives’ mothers”

[al-Nisa’ 4:23]

These three (the husband’s father, his son and the wife’s mother) become mahrams as soon as the marriage contract is done, and that is not subject to the condition that the marriage be consummated.

With regard to the wife’s daughter, she does not become a mahram for her mother’s husband unless he has consummated the marriage with her mother, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“ and your stepdaughters under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom you have gone in — but there is no sin on you if you have not gone in them (to marry their daughters),”

[al-Nisa’ 4:23]

The stepdaughter (rabeebah) is the daughter of one's wife.

See al-Mughni, 9/514, 524.

In conclusion: the husband’s father is a mahram for his son’s wife, so he may shake hands with her and be alone with her and travel with her. See questions no : 5538 , 20750

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A

A 18YERS OLD YOUN MAN WHO DIED IN ONE OF HOPITAL OF OMAN

A 18-year old young man who died in one of hospitals of Oman. The corpse of the boy has been dug out from a tomb in 3 hours after his funeral under the insisting of his father. The boy died in hospital and has been buried under the Islamic law and on the same day after obligatory ablution of the body. However after funeral the father has doubted of the diagnosis of doctors and wanted to identify the true reason of his death.

Relatives and his friends shocked when they saw the corpse. He was completely different within 3 hours. He turned grey as the very old man, with traces of obvious tortures and the most severe beating, with the broken bones of hands and legs, with the edges broken and pressed into a body.

All His body and face were full of bruise. The open eyes-showed hopeless fear and pain. The blood obviously attributes that the boy has been subjected to the most severe torture.

Close relatives of the dead man have addressed to Islamic scientists who have unequivocally declared that it is available results of tomb torture which the Allah ( s.w.t) and in the Hadis of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) have warned.

The shocked father of the boy has admitted that his son was spoilt, did not do Solat, and had a carefree way of life, having involved in different sins.

Each died person comes across tests in the tomb for exception Shahids who died in Jihad on the way of Allah. This is first terrible test which the person comes across before the Doomsday.

In Hadis of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w):
- After the death the spirit of died person will return to a body then two Angels will come, Munkar and Nakir, and will ask: “Who is your Lord?” he will answer: “my Lord – Allah “. Then they will ask: “What is your religion?” he will answer: “My religion – Islam”. Then they will ask him: “Who that person who has been sent to you?” he will answer: “He is the Prophet of Allah “. Then they will ask him: “How do you know?” He will answer: “I read the Book of Allah and trusted Him.

And then from heavens the voice will come: ” My Slave has told the truth, lay it to bed from Paradise and open the Gate of Paradise ” – then it will be full of pleasure and he begins to feel paradise pleasure, and his tomb becomes spacious, that eyes can reach.

The Prophet of Allah Muhammad (s.a.w) said about the sinners. After the death the spirit of died person will return to the body then two Angels will come and ask, “Who is your Lord?” he will answer: “I do not know”. Then they will ask: ” Who that person who has been sent to you?” he again will answer: I “do not know” – and then from the sky the voice will come: “he told a lie, Put him into a box from fire and open before it the Gate of a hell! “-then it will be captured with heat of the hell, and his tomb becomes narrow and the edges will be compressed.

In Hadis it is also said, that Angels will severely beat the sinners during interrogation in the tomb and this torture will be awful. It is informed also, that our Messenger ( s.a.w) supplicated to Allah to protect Him from tortures of a tomb and asked other people to do so.

The history of 18-year old young men is a sign for believers and this is only next fairy tale for whom hearts are sealed by Allah. They look and do not see, listen and do not hear?

This story was translated from other language into English. That’s why I apologize in advance for mistakes.

Laughter Not Only Feels Good, It's Good for the Heart

FRIDAY, April 1 (HealthDay News) -- Having a good laugh on April Fool's Day or any other day of the year helps relieve stress and benefits your blood vessels, an expert says.

"Laughter increases blood flow and improves the function of blood vessels. Reducing stress is especially beneficial for persons who have hypertension [high blood pressure]," Dr. Vivienne Halpern said in a Society for Vascular Surgery news release.

April is National Stress Awareness Month in the United States.

"Laughter reduces the level of stress hormones [cortisol, epinephrine, dopamine and growth hormone] and increases the level of health-enhancing hormones [endorphins and neurotransmitters]," Halpern explained. "This can result in a stronger immune system and fewer physical effects of stress."

Along with reducing stress and improving blood flow and blood vessel function, laughter helps relax muscles and creates a sense of well-being, she added.

High blood pressure is linked to stroke, a leading cause of death in the United States.

More information

The American Academy of Family Physicians has more about coping with stress.

(SOURCE: Society for Vascular Surgery, news release, March 28, 2011

HealthDayNews articles .

A Good Night's Sleep

It might seem funny to devote an article to sleeping. But think about it. The average person spends around eight hours of a 24-hour day asleep. That is a third of a person’s lifetime. Allah describes sleep as a blessing from Him. He says in the Qur’an: “And We made your sleep a rest for you.” [Surah al-Naba’: 9] “And remember when He made slumber fall upon you as a reassurance from Him.” [Surah al-Anfal: 11] “It is Allah who has made the night for you, that you may rest therein, and the days as that which helps you to see. Verily Allah is full of grace and bounty to humanity, yet most people give no thanks.” [Surah Ghafir: 61] Sleep is not only described as a blessing bestowed upon the people, but also as a testament to Allah’s creative ability. Consider where Allah says: “He it is who gathers up your souls at night and knows all that you do by day. Then He raises you up again, so that the term appointed for you (on Earth) may be accomplished. And afterward unto Him is your return. Then He will proclaim to you what you used to do.” [Surah al-An`am: 60] “Allah takes the souls at the time of their death, as well as (the souls of) those who die not, during their sleep. Then He withholds those on whom He has passed the decree of death and sends the others back until an appointed term. Most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect.” [Surah al-Zumar: 42] Yes, sleep is His creation, and it has its marvels. A sleeping person drifts away from his consciousness and reason, only to be fully restored to his rational faculties upon waking, refreshed and revitalized. A sleeping person can see the strangest and most amazing things, things that a waking person could never possibly see. Our ability to dream is another of Allah’s blessings, and another sign of His greatness. We can appreciate the importance of sleep if we consider that Allah guided His Messenger (peace be upon him) regarding the etiquettes of sleeping, like being in a state of purity and lying on his right side. (As for facing the qiblah, this is actually not established by the Sunnah.) Likewise, a number of remembrances and supplications are prescribed for sleeping. The Prophet (peace be upon him) instructed `Ali b. Abi Talib and Fatimah to say “Subhan Allah” 33 times, “al-Hamdu Lillah” 33 times, and “Allah Akbar” 33 times. He informed them that doing so will remove their fatigue and revitalize them, and said: “It is better than having a servant.” [Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim] Our generation is sometimes accused of being “the sleeping generation”. Most of us certainly do not need to sleep more than we already do. Nevertheless, we must respect our need to sleep by observing the etiquettes and approaches to sleep that will maximise the benefit that we get from it. This, in turn, helps us manage stress and makes our waking hours more productive. It is a mistake to dismiss the importance of sleep. We all need it, and we all get our daily quota of sleep. Therefore, it is wrong that we make light of the subject of sleep and disdain reading or speaking about it, as if it were something superfluous. In order to sleep better, we should first relax a bit. We need to unwind from the pressures, worries, and distresses of the day. We need to end the day on a note of forgiveness and with a few moments of tenderness with our families. We need to recite our remembrances of Allah and rid our hearts of all our animosities. We should not lay our heads down on our pillows with resentfulness in our hearts and angry thoughts in our minds. We should make our last thoughts of the day positive ones. Source: Islamtoday

Muhammad (PU.H): Behaviour Towards Childrens..

The Prophet (pbuh) said: "Convey (my teachings) to the people even if it were a single sentence.." (Bukhari)

All praises and thanks be to Allah, the creator of mankind, jinns and all that exists. The greatest thing that God had offered humanity is that he provided them messengers chosen from among the best of their kind.

We are now discussing about The Prophet’s (Peace Be Upon Him) Characters and Features.

Muhammad (PBUH) was always very kind to children. Amr ibn (RA) Said quoted Anas(RA) as saying, “I have never seen anyone act more kindly towards children than God’s Messenger (PBUH). His son Ibrahim was being suckled in the neighbourhood of Medinah. He (PBUH) would go, accompanied by us, and enter the house which was full of smoke, the child’s foster-father being a blacksmith. He (PBUH) would take him and kiss him and then go back.”

It was his practice, whenever he (PBUH) came back from a journey, to let the children, who met him on the way, ride before and behind him and he always greeted them first. One day Khalid bin Said (RA) came to him with his little daughter, Hasna, who was wearing a red dress. Muhammad (PBUH) said, “Sana.” She had been born in Abyssinia and in their language, Hasna was called San i, and he (PBUH) called her Sana in that context. He (PBUH) had a seal of prophethood at his back and it looked like a lump. She began to play with it so Khalid told her off but Muhammad (PBUH) stopped him and let her play.

Anas(RA) said, “I never prayed behind an Imam who was more brief or more perfect in his prayer than God’s Messenger (PBUH). If he (PBUH) heard a baby crying, he (PBUH) would shorten the prayer for fear that the mother might be distressed.” Abu Qatada (RA) reported God’s Messenger (RA) as saying, “When I begin the prayer, I intend to make it long, but I hear a baby crying and shorten the prayer, being aware of the Mother’s emotion because of the crying.”

He (PBUH) used to kiss children and loved them very much. Once he (PBUH) was kissing children when a Bedouin came and said, “You love children very much. I have ten children and I have never kissed one of them.” Muhammad (PBUH) replied, “What can I do if God takes away love from you?”. Jabir bin Samra (RA), one of his companions, reported an incident of his childhood. “Once I offered the prayer with God’s Messenger (PBUH). After the prayer, when he (PBUH) went towards his house, I went with him. We were joined by more boys, and he kissed them all and me too.” When he was entering the town of Medinah, after emigrating from Makkah, some young girls of the Ansar were singing with joy in front of their houses. When he (PBUH) passed by, he (PBUH) said, “O girls! You love me.” All said, “Yes, O God’s Messenger.” Then he (PBUH) said, “1 love you also. Yusuf bin Abdullah (RA) said that when he (PBUH) was born his parents took him to God’s Messenger for his blessing; he (PBUH) suggested the name, Yusuf, and put him in his lap. He (PBUH) patted him on the head and prayed for the Blessings of God for him.’

To sum up, Muhammad (PBUH) was very kind and affectionate to children. He (PBUH) loved them and always treated them with immense kindness and gentleness.

Source: ilovallaah

How to Win your wife's love ??/

How to Win your Wife's Love???

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In the name of Allah , the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful.

In today's life of hustle and bustle, the family unit is becoming fragile by the day. Divorces are on the rise, and Muslims can no longer claim, as justifiably as before, that divorce is rare among Muslims or even much less than incidents of divorce among non-Muslims. The article, originally contributed by several bloggers and readers on MuslimMatters.org, is divided in two parts and will list out ways to keep up your spouse's love. Feel free to write to us your own list with experiences. Having said that, let's take on the men first, here's how you can keep up your wife's love:

1. Make her feel secure, don't threaten her with divorce.

2. Give sincere Salaams.

3. Treat her gently, like a fragile vessel.

4. Advise in private, at the best time, in the best way and atmosphere.

5. Be generous with her.

6. Warm the seat for her, you will warm her heart.

7. Avoid anger, be in Wudhu at all times.

8. Look good and smell great for your wife.

9. Don't be rigid or harsh-hearted or you will be broken.

10. Be a good listener.

11. Yes for flattery. No for arguing.

12. Call your wife with the best names, cute nicknames, and names she loves to hear.

13. A pleasant surprise.

14. Preserve and guard the tongue.

15. Expect, accept, and overlook her shortcomings.

16. Give sincere compliments.

17. Encourage her to keep good relations with her family.

18. Speak of the topic of her interest.

19. Express to her relatives, how wonderful she is.

20. Give each other gifts.

21. Get rid of routine, surprise her.

22. Have a good opinion of each other.

23. Have good manners, overlook small things, don't nitpick.

24. Add a drop of patience, increase during pregnancy, menses.

25. Expect and respect her jealously.

26. Be humble.

27. Sacrifice your happiness for hers.

28. Help at home, with housework.

29. Help her love your relatives, but do not try to force her.

30. Let her know that she is the ideal wife for you.

31. Remember your wife in Duâa.

32. Leave the past for Allah, do not dwell on, dig into, or bring it up.

33. Do not act as if you are doing her a favor by working or providing, Allah is the Provider, the husband is the carrier of the sustenance to the family.

34. Take Shaitan as your enemy, not your wife.

35. Put food in your wife's mouth.

36. Treat your wife like she is the most precious pearl that you want to protect.

37. Show her your smile.

38. Do not ignore the small things, deal with them before they be come big.

39. Avoid being harsh-hearted.

40. Respect and show that you appreciate her thinking.

41. Help her to find and build her inner strengths and skills.

42. Respect that she might not be in mood for intimacy, stay within Halaal boundaries.

43. Help her take care of the children.

44. Give her gifts with your tongue, be an artist with your compliments.

45. Sit down and eat meals together.

46. Let her know that you will be traveling or returning from travel, give her sufficient notice.

47. Don't leave home in anger.

48. Maintain the secrecy and privacy of the home.

49. Encourage each other in worship.

50. Respect and fulfill her rights upon you.

51. Live with her in kindness, goodness, fairness in good and bad times.

52. Kiss your wife, foreplay, don't jump on her like a bull.

53. Keep disputes between the two of you, don't take it outside.

54. Show care for her health and well-being.

55. Remember you are not always right or perfect yourself.

56. Share your happiness and sadness with her.

57. Have mercy for her weaknesses.

58. Be a firm support for her to lean on.

59. Accept her as is, she is a package deal.

60. Have a good intention for her.

61. Cook a dish for her.

62. Designate a nice, clean, spacious area in your home for the two of you to pray at night whenever you can.

63. Women love flowers. Make a trail of them on the floor leading to the gift you made for her.

64. Give her a nice massage when she least expects it.

65. Send your wife a text message out of the blue with a message of love.

66. Send your wife an email without a reason.

67. Go out on a date or a get-away for the weekend in a nice location, preferably without kids.

68. Do something for your wife's family, whether it is a gift, or a chat with her teen brother who needs mentoring, or whatever. It will get you lots of brownie points.

69. Do not keep reminding and demanding your rights all the time.

70. Shop groceries for her and call her from the store and ask her what she needs for the home, for herself or for her to give to people as gifts.

71. Ask her if she would like to invite her female friends over for ladies only get together and arrange for the dinner.

72. Ask her to send gifts to her parents and siblings.

73. Help her parents pay off debt. Send her poor relatives some money.

74. Write love notes or poems and place them in the book she's been reading.

75. If she tells you something she had just learned from the Qur'an or Hadith, do not dismiss her or ridicule her effort, instead listen to her and take her word.

76. Plant her a kitchen garden with all kind of herbs she needs for cooking.

78. Update her PC or laptop with a new one or get her a new mobile phone.

79. Learn to do a special massage technique and surprise her with your new expertise.

80. Teach your children to respect and honor their mother.

81. Be humorous with her when she makes a mistake in the kitchen (like when she put too much salt or burnt her baking). '“